skitsch's kitsch world

more eyes and pattern experiments

2011-02-13T19:00:00.007+09:00

skitschmoments 01

2011-02-13T18:37:00.006+09:00

When I was really little, I was a pretty picky girl.
I wouldn't go out if I wasn't wearing certain clothes, certain hairpins, certain shoes, so on.
But luckily my mom loved to make me look like a doll(since I was her first daughter), so most of times she was happy with my demands.

I think I was 5 or 6 years old.maybe a bit younger.
I decided to record(!) my happy moments on my blog, and this is the very first happy things I can remember.
A Japanese animation called 'Heidi, Girl of the Alps' was my favorite TV program.
Heidi used to do this gesture-grabbing her skirts widely and spin- when she's laughing, so everytime someone says'Heidi laugh!?' to me, I giggled and started to spin like Heidi.

Some friends of mine told me it'd be great to read my stories.
I wasn't sure how to tell/draw till last week but this idea came up and I'll tell you all the little happy moments in my life.Really small things.Tiny happinesses that make my life better.

and bonus-to show you how I looked.hahaha

Definately before my 'Heidi laugh' days.

We are lonely-studio apartment

2010-06-13T16:25:00.002+09:00

And please enjoy this romantic cheesy lyrics(actually quite good I think)!

Dancing on the rooftop.

2010-05-22T01:51:00.005+09:00

It was one of those rainy summer night.
They were sitting outside of a small diner near his house.
She thought he's getting drunk.
So she said she needs to go home.
Then he kneeled down and reached out his hand to her and said,
'Please,please be my Punk rock princess!'
He wasn't drunk at all.
She said she's not punk anymore and she can never be a princess.

A week after, they were dancing on his rooftop.
She had never danced like that before.
Her cellphone was singing this song and she wished that he could understand her message.
He said he's in love with her but she said nothing back.

.
.
It's been 3 years and I still think of that night.
When the night air smells like ......I smile and feel so lucky to had a chance to be somebody's last 'punk rock princess'.

섬(island)-nell

drunk drawings(..more like horrible sketches)

2010-05-09T23:25:00.010+09:00

When I'm with a few people around me and when I feel comfortable,I draw friend's faces.
I do all the kind of silly things when I'm drunk but this is the best thing to do after some booze I think.(uh..not just 'SOME'..sometimes)

My work schedule is pretty shitty so I can't make plans in early evenings,but one lucky night I could meet a friend around 7.And we drew these few hours after that.(= after quite FEW drinks!!)

Friend from highschool.JooHee.

And her portrait of herself.

And she drew me.(think I'm really easy to characterize).

The other late night at work I was so stressed out,didn't want to go home,didn't want to meet anyone,just didn't know what to do.
So I just sat silently and.. well,I didn't want to cry but I couldn't resist.
One of my really good friend at work found me crying and made me laugh by saying,
"Hey!A man is supposed to cry only for 3 times in life!Don't act like a girl!"
And an hour after,we were drinking in the park with some street food.talking.laughing.
The weather was a little cold but everything around us were just lovely.

SunAe.the one who makes my life luckier.brighter.

They were friend's friend's friends.
But after seeing them once,we became quite close.
They work near me,they're in my age,they draw for living in a game company,and
most of all, because we all love drinking and they really like to make fun of me.

Joo Hyun.He's only one year younger than me but still calls me 'the senior'..
What he wrote is - Hey older,stop drinking,Let's respect the seniors.
(yeah..those all are me)

Another me by him.

Sweet revenge from me.look all those wrinkles on his face.He looks much older than me!

There's some more but I'll upload them later when I have more stories to tell(or when I recover my memories!)

The circus

2010-04-12T01:01:00.004+09:00

Can't believe that this guy is my age.
But anyway,I feel the spring wind with this song.

Hope you feel the same.

Actually

2010-02-10T01:51:00.004+09:00

I always think I do my best everytime,
but there's always regrets left.

I can't think of 'reason why',but can 'reason why not'.
As I usually say,I have to handle this 'cause I'm grown up.

I couldn't decide what I really want and have to follow lately.
Sometimes I want to bury myself in the ground.

21th century siren's not singing or seducing.
They petition.

fantastic plastic machine-petitions

new croquis book

2010-01-17T14:57:00.003+09:00

Just got a new croquis book.

Happy new year

2009-12-28T00:17:00.003+09:00

Sorry for about..uh...few months gap,I was into another blog of mine and pretty busy as well..
But
I'm still here to say happy new year to everyone who reads this blog(well..if there's anyone left).
And promise to myself that I'll keep posting drawings and writings more often!!

Hope you have a great holidays.
See you next year.(maybe sooner.?haha)

the eternal triangle of..

2009-08-21T01:10:00.003+09:00

sketch

inked

(I drew this last week but couldn't find time to write&upload..so I was thinking not to post this but anyway I feel like this all the time these days.)

When I was lost in London years ago,I found this poet somewhere on the internet.
She's a friend of my favorite Korean poet who's in my dad's age,and one of her poem attracted me so much.
It's really short.It goes like-
이것이 아닌 저것이 갖고 싶다 want to have that not this.
여기가 아닌 다른 곳으로 가고 싶다 want to go to somewhere else not here.
괴로움 외로움 그리움 suffering,loneliness,yearning
내 청춘의 영원한 트라이앵글 the eternal triangle of my youth

I don't know where I am in my life.
I thought I was lost when I was thinking of this poet everyday.
Feelings has been dimmed since I got back from the foreign countries.
And it made me sad so I just drink another glass of alcohol and get lost.

Loveletter

2009-08-05T01:32:00.006+09:00

Colored

Sketch

"I want to walk with you,I want to talk with you,I want to laugh with you,
I want to sing with you,I want to see with you,I want to eat with you,
I want to be with you."

So..I was telling about my past relationships to a friend of mine while we were having dinner today.
I told her how crazy I was.
I've approached to a bus driver I used to see everyday on my way home,a guy who worked at a pc cafe near my house,a part-timer at a levi's shop,even to a girl who had a boyfriend(yes..she's the only girlfriend I've had.)

I was sure that I know how to show my affection.
And I thought hiding emotions is such a tragidy since we don't know when we can meet someone who makes our hearts beat.
So my life was kind of easy that way.
If I like someone,I just tell the person how I feel.
If the one doesn't feel the same way I do?then I try again.Try my best to show my emotion.Still rejects?then I reflect myself and say again-till something inside of me says 'you did everything you can.'

There's someone who's too cool.But when I think of the one,I'm like boiling water.
Yea I know that person wants to be just friends but I can't be that cool..yet.
I didn't try to control myself because I thought we would never meet again but now I see it might happen.And when I see myself looking forward to it,I'm disappointed.
I don't want to bother the person by calling late at night,I don't want to see me waiting for the person all day long.I've been there before and it didn't feel good.

But still,I like the person.So I'm doing this.
I'm going to block the person in some way.I don't want to completely block the person,so I'm going to block one of the easiest way.
I'll talk to the person when I'm okay.when I could be cool.
But if the person talks to me while I try to block the person,nothing can stop me.
I'll tell the person 'I like you so much' with a smile like a sun.
Maybe those two will never happen.I won't be able to see the person and the person will never get to me.but at least I will smile with this memory and this drawing.
(Well,in this drawing I just covered myself in a bubble.hahaha.)

electrik boogie

2009-08-02T17:44:00.003+09:00

I got 99 stories to tell but I can't stop singing this song.
And it perfectly describes my status right now.
Well..the song is much more sophisticated but still so,so,so kitsch!
My summer has begun.Finally I got someone to fancy,(no.it's all about me.he doesn't even know how I feel)the rainy season is over,and the sea,the river,the lakes are waiting for me to come!!!

Electrik boogie-Ursula1000

if we can watch

2009-07-05T15:14:00.002+09:00

watch

sketch

While I was watching TV dramas I thought that if we can watch eachother's acts when we are not together,then we can understand eachothers much better.
If we can watch a scene like-somebody(who likes you secretly) tries to help you without showing who he/she is-this,it'll be easier to fall in love or make a really good friend.

I saw a scene a boy moves a big potted plant to make a shade for a girl(who he loves) sleeping under the sun.
I saw a friend's lovely face when she's talking about her date.

If only we can watch,this world would be different..

American standard

2009-06-28T21:49:00.004+09:00

sketch

A while ago I saw a big ad in somewhere of big shopping area of Seoul.(like,DongDaeMun or somewhere.I don't remember exactly.)
First I laughed at it and thought it can't be big here because it was American standard's advertising.
If they're selling kitchen stuffs I could understand easily but they're selling bathroom products.
Anyway I thought that idea is ridiculous(Koreans use American standard's toilet/bathtub)but last week I saw a lot of agencies on my way to somewhere passing DongDaeMun.
Oh yeah it seemed like it's pretty popular here.
Why do we need to use American standard when we have our own standards?
Those are for Americans.They make things for their standard!
I've not been to America but when I think of England,their toilets were bigger than ours.

First people got plastic surgeries to make them look more like caucasians,then they started to wear American Apparel like crazy,(T-shirts and pants?I understand but even underwears?listen to me.most of Korean's body shapes are different from westerners.)and now they're shitting on American standard's toliet.

Nice.very nice you pretty dumb air-headed poor people..

Like a star

2009-06-20T00:03:00.006+09:00

Like a star

Corinne Bailey Rae-Like a star

I think I've heard of this song years ago but I wasn't very interested.
When I saw her on the TV,I thought 'well,she can sing&write but sounds too sweet for me.'
BUT.
Few months ago I happened to watch a Korean TV show and heard this song again.(below)

Then I thought,'oh..this isn't just sweet..there's something more.'
BUT.
Since then this song started to follow me.
Weeks ago I was in a bar with friends and they played this song.
2days after I was in a different place with another friend and I heard this song again.
It's not a new song,released in 2005 but I hear it everywhere.
So I surrendered.
Yes,I'm in love.

I found that the singer Corinne Bailey Rae lost her husband a year ago and she's not been doing anything after that..I hope she would know that her songs are like a star for some people..
Ok..This will be one of my lifetime favorite music.

late night radio

2009-06-17T01:10:00.004+09:00

It's been a good life.

나의 하류를 지나-Lucid Fall

Like..13~14years ago,I liked to fall asleep while I was listening to the radio.
Late night radio shows..I first heard Leonard Cohen,K.D.Lang,Duran duran,pet shop boys,Massive attack,Everything but the girl..(And so much more) from them.

I used to sleep after 2AM,usually did draw with a pen called G-pen.
Those days were full of dreams and happinesses.

I was working really late last night.It was almost 2Am and I heard this song from the radio.
Then I realized.I've been having a good life.
A life that maked me dream over a decade,a life led me to whetever I call happiness.

will we ever?

2009-06-11T00:43:00.003+09:00

Will we ever?

Sketch.

I don't exactly remember when I started to hesitate to name some people 'friend'.
'Cause I'm kind of picky.I don't think I need to love everybody and be loved by them.
So,every relationship I have with my friends is really important to me.
Even though I don't say how much I think of them.

I have met great people in past last 2years.
Most of them are not in Korea anymore but I still think of them and wish them well.
Today I wondered to myself..
Will I ever get invited to a small wine party at friend's place?
Will I ever go to Busan with Leita,John and Keith?
Will I ever get a phone call from drunken John when I was so alone depressed and sad?
Will I ever watch Purple rain with Keith at 2am?
Will I ever heard them call my name in their own accent?(my Korean name)
Probably no.
But maybe someday.

Thank you.You made my days so colorful.We will meet someday somehow somewhere again.

How to have a great sunday afternoon

2009-05-31T21:35:00.016+09:00

When it's sunny outside and you want to do something but also want to be on your own,
I'll tell you how to have a great sunday afternoon.

Make a canvas with gesso.(on any walls,plates,glasses any flat surfaces.In my case,I went to the rooftop!)

And paint it!draw it!write it!Do whatever you want to!(This cool fish named 'SkaFish' is singing Bob Marley song)

You can take a picture with it,too.

Paint colors first,

And then add outlines if needed.

Ta~da~~!!now you had an amazing afternoon.These took almost 5hours!yeahie!

*about drawings-Related post 1ISLAND
post 2Don't go to

Don't go to Korea

2009-05-30T23:35:00.007+09:00

Don't go to (south)Korea.
The country is still in warfare.
The north tests their weapons.
While the south has no right to have a long-range missile.
There're more suicides than traffic accidents.
People lost job,family and now lost freedom to speech.
Government lies or makes up ridiculous lies.

And someone killed himself last week.
The only politician I wanted to believe.
The only president made me hope,made me proud of being Korean.

Never come to Korea.It's a disgusting absurd place to live.

I don't fully agree with thess articles but quite true they are.
from BBC news
New York times

一喜一悲-one joy one sorrow

2009-05-18T23:49:00.008+09:00

一喜一悲 inked

sketch

There's a word I always tell to myself.
一喜一悲.
This means having a mixed feeling of joy and sorrow.
And also means think it again before you laugh or cry.
One night,mom came home late and started to cry silently under the blanket.(I sleep next to her.)
The next morning I sent her a message.'mom,一喜一悲.let's not cry until we find out what really it is.'

But we couldn't stop crying before we sleep.
Even though we don't know if it's sad or not.
Trying to hide our tears.

이세상에서 가장 소중한 노래 하늘은 알아
-Heaven knows the most precious song in the world.

다시 살아나(blossom)-황보령Hwang Bo Ryong.

HwangBoRyong

sketch

When I first heard her song more than 10 years ago,I didn't like them.
Her songs were hard to understand.
I knew that she was singing about things that are dumped,broken,imperfect,wounded..
But I couldn't understnad why she's singing that way.
Last month she released a new album.She hasn't sung a while.(5 or 6years?)
And this time,I was able to understand.feel.
I needed 10 years to truly listen to her voice.

born collector

2009-05-09T00:38:00.005+09:00

born collector

sketch

There's a Japanese comic book called 'GLAMOROUS'.
It's a story about cyborgs which want to be real humen.
When the main charactor visits his friend(another cyborg),his friend was putting newspapers and pictures on the wall.
He asked what he's doing then he said.
'I'm collecting things I'm interested.Things I like,things I dislike-which identify myself.'

Then I realized that people are born collector.
Whether we show or not we have taste..not exactly taste,things we like or don't like.
Something that can distinct me from the others.

Last week I moved into a new office room.
And I spent more than 2hours for doing these.
Yea I was born collector and I like to show so I needed to do these before I work.

Not completed but can you smell me?

I'm walking,questioning,listening--

2009-05-01T00:19:00.008+09:00

(I've been/I will be) walking,questioning,listening--

Sketch

Rough sketch in Orange colored pencil.

I had a tutor when I was in highschool.
He tried to teach me to get a better grade at math but I liked to talk to him since he was the most interesting person I had met.(And a really good listener too.)
I asked him why only human can't live naturally.Why we harm this beautiful world,why we were born,why we talk,why we think,why we can't listen to the plants.
And I asked him why do I always question.Why do I wonder about things that some people don't even notice its existence.And if my questions can't make any differences,why do I question.
Most of times he said'alright,but first let's~~'but one day he said-
'Don't think your questions are useless.They might be answerless but they will take you to a different world.You might suffer because of them but never regret.You're already better than the others who doesn't wonder.So keep wondering.Questioning,asking and listen.Always remember this.'

There're me.
Highschool girl skitsch who wonders about anything,everything.
22year old skitsch who lost a lover,family,friend.
24~26year old skitsch who wandered foreign countries.
30year old skitsch who is still walking,questioning,listening.

ps-
I just lost a job in Japan which I've been preparing almost 2 months.Well..I already started to work for them on and off.
But Saturday they canceled on me suddenly and said they don't need another team.(which was for me)
I couldn't sleep that night but I remembered this story my tutor told me.
..Right.I can't go wrong as long as I walk,ask,listen.That job wasn't meant to be mine.This isn't the time.
I thought that I'd be very frustrated and upset if I lose the job but ummm..how can I describe..I feel fine.

April.colors.people and me

2009-04-24T01:26:00.016+09:00

love is a song_DJ soulscape

love is a song-DJ soulscape

Oh..It's been a while since I wrote the last post.(uh..a month?hehe)
A lot of things happened.Nothing really big but so many things were distracting me.
But time was passing while I thought that I got nothing to write.
Yes.A good friend of mine left this month.
Yes.I was terribly busy this month.
Yes.I was so tired of being waiting.
Yes.I got a crazy cold which lingered over 3weeks.

And most of all I tried my best to enjoy this lovely season.

Saw this back on my way to work.
Yea spring came to his ankle bone.

Another day at a subway exit.Uhh.This guy was so much cuter than this~

Ladies in a train.

Somebody texting

somebody dozing

And my hair starts growing crazy.

see?

Soon it'll be like this.

-And some colors I'm in love with.-

Morning green leaves with Adobe.

New shoes.

Red,blue nails and a Rainbow ring.

Night green leaves with city lights.

SPRING!!!!!!!!

2009-03-24T00:40:00.009+09:00

Spring

Sketch

SPRING COMES TO EVERYWHERE!!!!

1)Sunblock scent-
When I was a kid,mom used to rub sunblock over my face before I go out and play.
I hated it,'cause it smelled like chemicals.(and I also didn't like that unnatural whitish color.)
Since the weather gets warm,I remembered that somebody told me I better wear sunblocks everyday.
So I did,and that reminded me of the sunblock I hated more than 20years ago.

2)A sign of Spring-
My mom loves freesia.As I know,freesia is mom's only favorite.
She loves the color and the scent of it,so when she smells the flower,she smiles like a teenage girl.
I like yellow.I don't really know about flowers.
But I love to see her smile.
So I buy and put them in a vase.

3)Walts of spring-
This guy called 이승열'Yi Sung Yol',makes me feel blessed.
I'm lucky to speak Korean since he sings and speaks Korean.
He's a Korean singer song writer.
He had a concert named 'walts of spring' for 4 days.
I went to his concert 2 times,(though I wanted to go all 4days)and had to work 2 all nights.

4)Scarf-
One of the reason I don't like winter is too many clothes,but there's one scarf I like(which is too light for winter.)
Wearing this scarf means that spring came.

I'm dragging my feet,my back hurts,my hair is a mess but.
It's spring.
I might look tired and sleepy but inside of me,I'm very delightful.

Me from 20~21years ago.

The entrance of my apartment.small golden bells.lovely yellow.

numb

2009-03-13T23:41:00.003+09:00

pencil re-lined

sketch

Heart says 'I'm so ready to go.'
And they say 'I'll talk to you soon.please wait.'
Some good friends left saying 'Everyone is alone.'
The employer says 'I need you here.'

And I was so sad,disappointed,alone and mostly tired..
So I built layers around me to block those senses.

I went numb.
This winter is too long.
Waiting is the most useless thing

Isolate

2009-03-10T23:44:00.003+09:00

inked

sketch

I separated me from you.
'Cause you are so fucking stupid.
You talk about all the useless shits in the world for all day.
You stick to eachother like you are the best friends,but after you get off,you're completely strangers.
You go tell your friends that you're an artist,but you don't even understand what you're drawing at work.
You idiots.

You may call me weird,arrogant,gloomy,or a true artist in a sarcastic way,but
I don't act like this when I'm not with you.
I just can't like you.I..I..really dislike you and it bothers me 'cause I have to share the same space with you 6days a week,10hours a day.

And you know what?
I know at least what I'm doing,where I want to go,what I can and what I can't.

You only got mouths while I got eyes and ears.

9years

2009-03-02T01:13:00.006+09:00

9 years

sketch

The 1st of March,2000 was my first day of this job I've been doing.
It's been 9 years.already.
Of course I didn't do this full 9 years,I did some other stuffs and went to a new country for 6 months.
But after all I ended up doing this.Animation.

Sometimes I really hate my job.sometimes it's really fun.
I calculated roughly how many sheets of paper I drew for 9 years.(well..actually about 7 years.)
Almost one hundred thousand sheets.
And I talked to my self.'wow.skitsch.You've done a lot.'

Some people say that I'm lucky to have a job I can enjoy.
I used to tell them I don't enjoy but now I see,yes.This one fits on me.

After this 9 years I see a new way.Not completely different,but a big change.
I'm ready to go.I'm going on.

can't hide it anymore

2009-02-22T17:51:00.010+09:00

09

Ejing+SunAe

DH

sketches

Some friends are in love or just started to dream somebody.
They don't say anything,but I can see that in their faces.
You can't hide it,my dear!
Like this song I'm listening.숨길 수 없어요(by Roller Coaster)-I can't hide it anymore

spitting the knives

2009-02-17T00:32:00.002+09:00

inked

sketch

I speak love with people I don't really need to care.
But I spit words like knives to the people I really care about.
..
Till I see them breaking down.
Till I realize I've crossed the line.

And my pillow gets wet every night.
With my dirty tears of regret.
With a pain from hurting my loves.

I'm sorry.

when i was the most beautiful

2009-02-07T16:46:00.006+09:00

colored

sketch

I blogged about this story twice.

this one
and this one

One night I was watching TV,news about rising number of teenage prostitution.
They said it's because this worldwide slump,so many people lose jobs and so many families are broken.
That's why more and more young girls are on the street..

I thought of MoYoung.(the main character of the book 'when I was the most beautiful')
And drew the moment right before she was killed.
She was coming out of a motel with a middle aged guy and her skater boy was waiting for her outside.
She passed him by but he called her and stabbed her belly.

This book was written in 1999.When I was 20,(in 1999) this story wasn't this painful.
But I think for a while I won't be able to read it again.

Looking through the window

2009-01-28T00:36:00.005+09:00

colored.

2nd sketch

rough sketch

Here's a guy fitting in his mom's arms.
He's 32years old and an epileptic.He only has a 3years old child's inteligence.
He was a normal child when he was born.But he had a fever over a week and his family was too poor and isolated to ask for help.
His mom thought that having a sick child is her fault.
While her son's body starts to shake and stiffen,she prays.She wishes that she had this illness.not her child.She doesn't know what to do.

I was watching TV on a bus.
And I watched this story.
When I could feel my eyes started to twitch,I turned it off.

---------this is like,
There was something outside of a dirty window you're sitting next to.
You wipe it and were able to see that but they were passing by.
While you were seeing them you felt guilty and sad
but after a moment,you forget and your bus goes on.

What can I do for them?What makes a difference if I knew their story?
Why does it still sting me?

everyday new(everyday same)

2009-01-20T00:53:00.015+09:00

Working listening to music.(and yea.shake my body too)

Something I have to do when I get home come to my mind!

Write it down on the back of my hand.

And think,'ok.I'll do that tonight'

After work,getting ready to go home.

Before that,wash hand very hardly.

Letters are gone.but I never notice.

Sleep without thinking.

Wake up and get ready to go to work.

On the way to work.Head is empty.a perfect blank.

Right before I start to work,that thing I wrote on my hand yesterday hits my mind again.
Then back to writing,washing off,new day,writing,-over and over.

Tonight's task is to find these songs and put them in my MP3 player.

Hand is clean!
(I've been doing this for 10years..)

because she's in love

2009-01-14T23:42:00.004+09:00

relined by pencil,colored.

in love sketch

It's below zero,It's early in the morning.And it just starts snowing.
She's wearing short pants.Her thighs were exposed.
She's waiting for a bus.Then her cell phone rings.She looks at it and can't help stop smiling.

Only because she's in love.
She can't feel cold,Everything around her is so pretty and warm.
And she doesn't know that only people in love can smile like that.

Yesterday I was on a bus and saw an young girl.
It's freezing cold outside but she dressed like it's a spring day.
I thought 'oh.maybe she doesn't have warm coat'but at the moment I saw her face,I realized.
She's young and in love.
She's wearing what her boy likes.and that's all this girl cares about.
I turned 30 this year.If I was younger,I probably wasn't able to see that she's in love.
But now I can.and I know that I can't smile like that again too.
I can never make that pure,pretty lovely face.

Balancing

2009-01-13T00:46:00.002+09:00

sketch

There's a scale in your heart.
Sometimes it's not about just two things.
Your heart leans on one of them.
But when you finish scaling,they're gone.

And you left alone.

When I drew this(friday to saturday)I was sure what I wanted to write but uh..this one is really hard..Maybe I'll rewrite again.

Heaven's not enough

2009-01-03T00:28:00.004+09:00

Heaven's not enough-Steve Conte

Sketch in light blue&red color pencils.

Inked.

After dad's funeral,people came to me and tried to tell me that he would be in heaven.
They told me that there's no pain,no grief,no sadness,just full of happiness and good things.
But if there's no pain,I can't be in his heaven.I knew how big pain I was to him..
Then I stopped to think about heaven.
Thinking of him in somewhere without me was..too much for me.

Co-worker's friend commited suicide on the last day of 2008.
He told me that she was a melancholiac.
I didn't ask him how she died.Instead I asked him were you close?
He answered 'kinda..'.
It wasn't your fault.Don't blame on you about this.
Ah..what was she thinking?what was in her 24years old mind?
People,please..heaven's not enough..

Bye,2008.

2008-12-10T17:47:00.004+09:00

It's been a dramatic year.
I promised to dad I'd be real this year and now I look back,I was crazy,dumb,in love,innocent,naive,foolish,drunk,immature-these sound pretty real.ha!
And there was you.
I'm going to lower my head and try to take a rest with people I'm really used to.
I don't think I will post another entry till the end of the year.
I'm almost too emotional,I'm a trouble,Sometimes it's hard to just sit and breath..
I'll be back for sure.I'm just exhausted.Got no energy to see and express this world.
So.while I'm not around,I hope you to enjoy my songs.
Again,It's from my own webpage I pay for,don't worry about viruses.
(But it might take long..it's a quite big file)

Here it is.
SKITSCH2008

Again,happy new year,merry Xmas!
Thank you.

Island

2008-12-04T00:35:00.005+09:00

There are stories that are true, in which each individual's tale is unique and tragic, and the worst of the tragedy is that we have heard it before, and we cannot allow ourselves to feel it too deeply. We build a shell around it like an oyster dealing with a painful particle of grit, coating it with smooth pearl layers in order to cope. This is how we walk and talk and function, day in, day out, immune to others' pain and loss. If it were to touch us it would cripple us or make saints of us; but, for the most part, it does not touch us. We cannot allow it to.

No man, proclaimed Donne, is an Island, and he was wrong. If we were not islands, we would be lost, drowned in each other's tragedies. We are insulated (a word that means, literally, remember, made into an island) from the tragedy of others, by our island nature, and by the repetitive shape and form of the stories. We know the shape, and the shape does not change. There was a human being who was born, lived, and then, by some means or other, died. There. You may fill in the details from your own experience. As unoriginal as any other tale, as unique as any other life. Lives are snowflakes - unique in detail, forming patterns we have seen before, but as like one another as peas in a pod (and have you ever looked at peas in a pod? I mean, really looked at them? There's not a chance you'd mistake one for another, after a minute's close inspection.)
-Neil Gaiman, American gods,page 345 to 346.

After I heard another short news about another suicide.
And saw myself saying 'people born,people die.'
..Yea I'm an Island.and I feel uncomfortable about it.
Something is wrong.Terribly wrong.
But I have no clue how to fix it. And I also know how powerless,meaningless I am.
..
Something's wrong.Give me a reason or give me something to blame.

Letter D

2008-12-03T00:48:00.011+09:00

..While I was watching TV,seeing people who want to get plastic surgery,want to be richer,want to be famous,want to be with someone.

Praying in the name of letter D.

Some might say it's a dream.Yes it can be.
But I.desire.I desire somewhere to rest,a morning waking up in somebody's arms(Somebody I've never met,somebody I could never meet.)
So I wander this cold nights and humming YiSungYol's songs like I'm floating on these pretty sad small city lights.

She dreams/desires too.

기다림-이승열.waiting-Yi Sung Yol.
Thank you.You saved me.You're saving me..

look back.

2008-11-28T13:09:00.003+09:00

Stop sighing and look back.
You got people who miss,worry you.
Right.maybe you were in a wrong place.maybe you were staring at wrong direction.
That's why you're so exhausted right now.
So.
Look around.You've got friends.Warm,healthy relationships.

Sorry.I drew this last Sunday but I couldn't find time to upload.
I've been working until 1~2am these last 7~8days.It's been super crazy.I was almost dead.(well..not just because of works,some people at work made me drained)
But luckily I wasn't dead and talk about hope and warmth again.

hope you know

2008-11-18T00:52:00.006+09:00

Ssam partly colored

2nd sketch

Rough sketch

You know I used to cry everytime we met.
I could cry in front of you 'cause you were always warm,reliable.
You tried to see the world in my eyes when I talked to you.

You were brushing teeth.You were talking about your mom and dad.And then you started to...
..You know,It was me who always cried.

While you turned your head away and tried to hide that weak shaking,I wanted to give you a hug as you always did to me but I couldn't.
I wanted to tell you 'lay your burden down.'or 'my poor dearest.you're doing your best.'
Instead,all I could do was hesitating behind your back.
And hoped that you know.

Let's not cry anymore,my dearest friend.We're doing well.very well.

Was it you?

2008-11-11T01:18:00.007+09:00

nightmare colored(?)

nightmare sketch

B digged the ground and found a big bag.
I asked her if my camera was still inside.
She opened the bag and passed it to me.It was a year ago and this still works I said.
And she took out a skull-rotten but white real human skull-and showed it to me.
Don't you remember?It's T.You and I killed and buried him last year.Remember?B said.
No..I didn't kill anyone,I just knew that you buried my camera.
Suddenly B's eyes turned red.No?you don't remember?It was us.
No.T died on his vacation.He had a heart attack I heard.
WE KILLED HIM.YOU AND I DID-
And B turned to T.
T was laughing with his skull on his hand.

People say that dreams are always in black and white.but in my dream,only me and skull were black and white.

B-was my friend when I was in middle school.I haven't seen her for almost 10years.
T-was the one who died last year.

Because of this strange nightmare,I had to suffer from back/neck pain all day.
Strange and Strong dream..

We fear

2008-11-07T01:03:00.006+09:00

3girls inked

3girls 2nd sketch

3girls 1st sketch

Here are 3 girls.
First one,39years old virgin,had 12years younger boyfriend 2 years ago.(that was her 2nd and latest relationship)
Most of her friends are married or divorced.Maybe only these 2 girls now she's with are the last single friends of hers.
She haven't slept with guys but she's heard too many things and seen too many things.
She hasn't felt loneliness for her 39years but she's lonely now.That confuses her.
Suddenly this strange,extremely strong feeling came to her and for the first time in her life,she fears what comes next.

Second one,31years old,everybody loves to hang with her.
She meets lots of new people but in the end,all the guys she's met go to her friend.not she.
And she realized that she's been used by her friend.(Her friend looks better than her in guy's eyes.)
She guesses nobody would fall in love with her.She thinks she's not attractive at all in that way.
She hates to admit but she fears.She fears all the guys who's not interested in her but still can sleep with her.

The last one,29years old,youngest of these three so of course the most fearless.
She's met lots of people.And fell in love this year.
But her love wasn't a nice guy so she tried to forget him but she couldn't.
While she was trying to find the guy's pages on the internet,she found that he's been with another girl while she met,broke up,missed him.
Everything he had done to her was lie.She thought that this kinda situations are only in movies or sick dramas but it happened to her.
She loved to meet people.And now she fears.Now she knows there're really insane people out there.

There're another girls still-30years old,broke up with her boyfriend because of his mother but found that she's pregnant.(and actually lost her father 2months ago.)
29years old,so broke but had to support her parents so got a loan from insurance company.

We don't know what's going to happen to us.
Maybe a better tomorrow is waiting for us.Nobody knows.
But we doubt 'better tomorrow'.

For the first time in our lives..we fear the future.We fear bigger pains,deeper sorrows,fear almost everything what might come next.
..We just get by every single day.

love is here-starsailor

2008-10-31T00:47:00.002+09:00

Raw image.I didn't even delete those spots my scanner usually makes.didn't resize also.

If you could see the lover in me,And we could join our hands together
If you could see how good it could be,We'll sing these stupid songs forever

Can you feel it? love is here,It has never been so clear
You can't love what you have not,So hold on to what you've got

Is Judy really smiling for me?I'd change my name in case she found me
Trembling I can't believe,I've got to leave the girl behind me

Can you feel it? love is here,It has never been so clear
You can't love what you have not,So hold on to what you've got

Can you feel it? love is here,It has never been so clear
You can't love what you have not,So hold on to what you've got

If you could see the aching in me,I'd change my name in case you lost me
Trembling down to my knees,I've got to leave the world behind me

Can you feel it? love is here,It has never been so clear
You can't love what you have not,So hold on to what you've got

The last stage of my healing is open up the wounds and show it to the world widely.
And then wait till the whole world sees,then I could be alright.
Yes I've shed tears a lot but maybe not enough.
Yes I thought that I displayed it all but maybe there are some more to open.
What comes next?I don't know.Why does it still hurt?I don't know.
What was it?I don't know.Was I loved?I don't know.

This weather,your name,internet,pictures,haruki's novel,starsailor's song,my body condition..all of these
are fatal.

This is my final fit.final movement.

somebody told me

2008-10-28T20:11:00.005+09:00

My image of a house,people,trees.

I was walking down the street last saturday night.
Somebody talked to me so I removed my earphone and said 'yes?'
He said that he's a psychology student and was researching the relations between one's mind and a drawing within house,people,tree.
I thought that he's drunk because there was something strange in his eyes but I said yes and started to draw.

After I finished my drawing he asked me if I wanted to hear his explanation.
His eyes stared me oddly again so I accepted it.
He said-
'I think that you're upset and there's a huge problem with your status right now.
Look at this.It's a monster.(I said-no!it's just a big human and the house is too small for him)Then look at this house.It looks more like an office or something.Do you feel locked up?And the monster/human.you have such a big ego it shows.mm.And this tree is strange.You didn't add branches or fruits.Branches show how complicated your family stories are.And fruits mean how greedy you are.You look pretty greedy.
(I said-my hand got cold and I was bothered to draw them.)Hmm..I'm not an expert but this is..(Me-this is what!?)..interesting.'
And then he gave me thanks and we went to seperate ways.

..was I that easily readable?or I signed him which type I am while he was staring me?

Sickboy meets Sickgirl

2008-10-24T21:42:00.004+09:00

Sickboy meets Sickgirl

sketch

It suddenly gets colder today.
I was thinking of drawing something else(a super cute kid I met yesterday) but I failed and then a cold wind reminded me of these sick couple.
I used to sell my own stuffs on my homepage D-gecko.
I sold stickers(9 different designs) and Sickboy and Sickgirl were one of them.
At the start of 21th century,I happened to get a party flier promoted by sickboy production.
I wasn't interested what they're doing but I really liked their name.sickboy.
After a few years I designed stickers and gave this character a name sickboy~
(And his girl,sickgirl)

They were sick and lonely but after they meet,they aren't sick and lonely anymore.
Those two represent 'waiting'and 'meeting'.
And they both came from winter,(that's why I thought of them today)and they are waiting for the spring together.

Sickboy&Sickgirl from 2003 are more rough and energetic while those 2 of 2008 look more warm and comic.

ps-Actually I drew one more sickboy and sickgirl on my jumper,but I can't find it now.If I find it-I'll add a picture of it.

No.she's not

2008-10-21T00:33:00.005+09:00

'No.she's not' inked.

sketch

She's not punk.
She's not an artist.
She's not an office worker.
She's not a feminist.

But,she-is punkish than punk,is artistic than artists,works harder than office workers,does believe everybody's rights should be equal.
And always attracted to minor stuffs.

Maybe she's just another kind of loser you haven't seen.
So don't coat me with your prejudices,your expectations.
I'm skitsch.I go my way.

my happy end

2008-10-16T01:44:00.005+09:00

W&Whale:우리의 해피엔드(our happy end)

Happy end.colored pencils.

sketch

Finally I was able to say 'don't text me again' to the one who's been making me cry.
And also was able to say 'I had a huge crush on you' to somebody's boyfriend.
And also was able to say 'I need more time' to the one who says I'm beautiful.

So now I know I won't drink alone again,won't be waiting for midnight messages,won't be waiting for the mext meeting,won't say yes while my heart says I don't know.

Thanks for making me a little bit better.

This Autumn has lots of ups and downs..

Asking to the moon

2008-10-14T01:23:00.004+09:00

Moon watching re-lined.

Moon watching sketch.

I was watching you and wondered.
Am I doing good now?Why can't I live like you?
What's in this dirty ugly mind?Can't you see it?
Are you proud of me or do I shame you?
Are all these people living like this?
Why am I not interested in good guys?

Then I couldn't stop crying.
Sometimes everything hurts me and I'm too sensitive.

The moon shines.

Friends or foes

2008-10-07T01:08:00.004+09:00

Friends or foes inked.

Sketch.

Some of them you call friends block your eyes,ears and limit your move.
You don't know what they're doing to you.
They might don't mean harm.But some of them are poisoning you.
You feel safe.You feel good.But the truth is-You've been hypnotized.
That's where most of the people are at.

I had a friend.Her name is Sundive.She was a very good friend of mine.
We shared lots of dreams.We had have lots of joys and tears.
And one day she left me with this message.
'Sorry,but you make me lie.'
It broke my heart so badly.I was so confused.I didn't do anything wrong I thought.
But after 7years,now I know what she meant.

And I see that kind of situations these days.
And I also think being hypnotized might not be that bad if they don't think/know where they are.
So they can smile and reach out their hands.
-And confuse me.

Where have they gone?

2008-10-02T00:48:00.004+09:00

In my 2nd year of highschool(18years old),I met Kwon in the class.
I still remember the first time I saw her drawings.
She was kind of famous for her unique personality and her drawings.
She wasn't studying art,hadn't studied.But her sense and her own style fascinated me.
I still can tell she's the best I've ever met.

From our awkward first meeting,(imagine..18years old me walked to her seat at the first day of a new term and said'I want to see your sketchbook!')
we became very close in an instant.
She has been my best friend,first drawing teacher,bright star of my highschool days.
And then she introduced me a friend of hers,Shin.
That was the start of our history.

We made some characters to represent us,called 'Oohlala'.
mm...I made them up..they looked like this.

(from the left-me,Kwon,Shin)
We used to call ourselves 'Mighty Oohlalas'but the other friends did call us 'stupid trio'.
Some of the other classmates even asked us if we were sisters.
We did almost everything together.
We ate,drew,skipped classes,dreamed,went to comic festivals together.
And 12years passed.(?11years?I'm so bad with numbers)
Now Kwon works for a big company's Management Planning division,
Shin has her own web business,
I'm still drawing at an animation company.

But we still talk and laugh and thank for eachother and dream.
This time,it's not the same dream,but I'm so thankful for having them in my life.
(And I don't doubt they do feel the same)

left-Shin.right-Kwon.Yesterday was Kwon's birthday.

Shin's quick drawing.She just started to sell stuffs online.
She's getting married in December to her cute Japanese boyfriend.Congratulations girl!

Kwon's Oohlala trio.I love this so I watched it over and over.
I have to press her to draw more..Not for me.For her.I know how much happy she is when she draws.And how great it is.

3 of us.

I got warmth I needed,and I'm convinced that I'm doing fine.
Thank you,you two,the home of my soul.

more lonely eyes

2008-09-28T21:12:00.008+09:00

Few days ago Dogshit turned on the TV while I was trying to sleep.
(I sleep in front of TV)
He wanted to watch a silly game show and it was 2am so I woke up unpleasantly and said,
'Hey,you.you..your sister is lonely!'
He bursted into laugh and started to make fun of me.

..
Yes,I'm lonely.not because I'm single,not because some of my really good friends are too busy to hang out.
I'm just lonely.Like everyone else on this planet.

So I speak love and draw lonely eyes.

Day too soon

2008-09-24T00:05:00.007+09:00

Day too soon-Sia(just click and play)

Day too soon colored

Day too soon sketch(yellow green+light green+red)

I bought Sia's latest album'Some People Have Real Problems' 2months ago in London.
It was a new world.While I was listening to it,I could see scenes,I could feel emotions she wanted to show.
And then I thought,this album will be one of my lifetime OST.

'Day Too Soon'is the 3rd track of the album.And I fell in love from the first second of the song.
I've been wanting to draw it over 2months and tried twice and failed once.
And today I drew and painted it.
Probably I will draw again but now I'm happy that I did this.

These days I feel like I'm becoming non-human being.
But still,I can draw.I can breathe.I can smile when I listen to the music.
And sometimes I wait until it's dark and lonely and then cry too.

I wanted to be a musician.I wanted to be a comfort.
But I draw and only comfort myself..yet.

ps-I really like this drawing.

big holiday(not of mine,of Korea)

2008-09-15T22:47:00.021+09:00

ChuSeok(15th August of the lunar calender) is one of the biggest holiday in Korea.
It's similar to Thanksgiving day,Koreans meet their family&relatives and thank the year's harvest and wish luck to the full moon.
This year's holidays were short(just 3 days include Sunday) though.

Anyways.
People like me aren't busy during the holiday so I did---

Thanks for their energies,Dogshit&EJing.
If you see my eyes(those) on the street,smile for a moment for me!
And I'm going on&on&on.

For more pictures,click here

don't you feel this too every once in a while?

2008-09-10T21:41:00.005+09:00

When you see your mom and her colleagues fighting against the police across the street,
And you are on your way home,
And you hear somebody yelling'yea~fight!',
So you turn your face and found that he was only a highschool boy.
A mindless innocent highschool boy who freeze after few seconds of your cold stare.
And you flow to your mom without second thought and try to take her away from the crazy scene.
People around you and her watch you struggle and wonder who's that strange hair tattooed girl?

Don't you feel this?
That life is nothing but a shadow,
That drinking,people meeting,music listening,and things we do everyday,things we dream everyday -are just so meaningless,don't you feel that too?

And all you have is also nothing so you think that you can't do anything.
haven't you ever felt that?

sharpen up after an explosion

2008-09-08T23:17:00.005+09:00

sketch with orange&blue color pencils.

inked.

When I was young I couldn't understand mom's behavior.
She always pretented to not understood even when things were so obvious.
Especially when bad things happened.
But as I grow older I started to understand.
She's been protecting herself from hurts.
I have lots of similar part with her so I did that too unconciously..

I met someone in March.I even drew him couple of times in here.
But Friday,my heart bursted and now I think I have to sharpen up my senses.
No matter how it hurts,now I need to.
I told to dad I'll be real this year.
I was wearing winter clothes in the summer and was pretending I wasn't sweating,I was ok but i was cheating on myself.
Now it's time to restore my senses,time to wear lighter clothes.

Still my blood stains my shirts but it stopped bleeding.

a path

2008-09-03T01:01:00.006+09:00

(click hereand open the song first)

Leita in the wind sketch

Leita in the wind inked.

This is my friend Leita.She had stayed in Korea for 2 years and left yesterday.
She's a kind of person who I wanted to be.
She calls herself a global warrior-She's a traveller who has a dream.
I don't know when she will be able to read this blog but I just wanted to say here.
I was listening to the CDs she made for me today and realized I wanted to draw her.

Hey!Leita!
I wish you the best.
And I will always look forward to hearing from you and your stories about new worlds.
And someday,I hope to see you again.It'd be great if it's not in Korea.hahaha.

take care,girl!
(Her blog link is on the left.named Leita in Korea)

ps-This is one of my favorite Korean song,by Lee Tzsche.
She ruled my early 20s.Lee Tzsche was my idol.
I thought of the song while I was drawing Leita.
There's a path in front of us.

Youth on the street

2008-08-26T00:45:00.021+09:00

World DJ Festival made me 2 good friends.
One is Jay,a graffiti writer and the other one is DongHoon.
Donghoon plays yoyo tricks on the street.He's been doing it for 8years.
(well..he's just 23years old though)
And he won a championship this year..yea..means this boy is the best in Korea.
I went to see his performance yesterday with SangYoung.
What I love is-he enjoys showing his tricks on the street.
For people who don't know he is,for people just come watch and go.
That's why I want to start street arts too.
I love things on the street.I want to be a part of the street.
And soon,I will be.
Here're some pics of those yoyo lovers.

That face!(he's DongHoon)

Skillful hands

Action
(well..we had drinks together,this guy actually can do lots of magic tricks too!)

photogenic of the day.I was surprised that he only has practiced for few months.
He was cute and really could do everything.(he's not playing yoyo in this picture)

heh..I took lots of his pictures//

And our champion again!

After their street shows we had a drink together,most of them were in their early 20s.
That fact forced me to move(in a good way).well..I'm in my late 20s,and their 'street career' is much longer than mine.(If I don't count those nights on the street-,.-)
So I finished stencils I was making and went to the rooftop again.
It was much harder than I thought.the rooftop was so windy,the paper I chose wasn't good for stenciling.And my eyesight is worse in the night.
Plus,an hour later it started rain.(long long excuses)
Anyways.I'll do these again this friday in HongDae and that would be my real first street art.

-I used layers with the tool called pegbar which I use for work

1st layer-background and outline

2nd layer-body

3rd layer-eyeball and blood

Final.that dropping wasn't my intention.

Bleeding eye on the wall with flame tree(I paste this before)

Bleeding eye on the wall

Bleeding eye on the floor(without pegbar)

eye murderer

completed-with my signature.

Final scene in the rain

Freedom!

Broken Hearted People

2008-08-18T22:27:00.013+09:00

Some of us shut their mouths and scream.

Some of us just do one thing till it destroy(or fill) ourselves.

Some of us hide and peep.

Or some of us keep on running away.

One of my friend lost her father while I was on a vacation.
One of my friend left Korea to study English.
One of my friend got dumped from her boyfriend,
One of my friend dumped his girlfriend and enjoyed crazy nights.
-So I erased his name from my heart.

And somebody offered me a new job.

Busan

2008-08-17T21:30:00.018+09:00

Busan is the 2nd biggest city in my country.
It's a port,close to Japan.
I went to Busan with 3friends of mine for 3days this weekend.
And this trip was pretty interesting for many reasons.
After I graduated highschool,80%of my trips were with AeRan.(the one I went to Glastonbury with.)
And the last 15% were with my boyfriends at the moment or other friends,(Always just 2 of us).
Only twice in last decade I traveled with bunch of friends.

Leita,Keith,John,I went to Busan together,
Leita was my English teacher last year so We've known each other over a year but
I've only met John for 3times,Keith for 4 times.(They are friends of Leita.)
I'm kind of shy with people I don't know well,so I was a bit worried.
But it turned out that my worries were unnecessary.
I really enjoyed these 3 days.

From the left-Keith,Leita,John.At somewhere between our room and YongGungSa.
I ate a piece of raw fish there.Most of my friends would be surprised.
I don't even eat cooked seafood.But I wanted to try.
And I started to think I have to deal with it to be a fisherman.(I dream of this a lot these days)

Beautiful sky view from the place we stayed near SongJeong beach.
We got there early in the morning in a hard rain.
But after the rain,I fell in love with the sky.

We went to lots of nice places in the city.
While we were moving,while we were taking a rest I drew these eye people(John made this name!thanks!!)

I have history with this city.
I've lived in Busan with this girl for about 2 months.

I don't like to lie people but this girl made me lie many times.
When I talk about her,I usually told people that I had a boyfriend.
But it wasn't.I lived with this girl who I really liked.
And this trip reminded me of her.
We had been together for almost 4years.And I haven't seen her last 7 years.
Busan changed a lot in a decade,but still some places didn't seem to change.

Like here,TaeJongDae.It's a cliff.I want to live a place like there.

We walked up TaeJongDae and I walked faster than the other guys to make time to draw this.

Footprints of the past seemed to faded away but while I was following them they were there.
I think this is a feeling of getting older and letting things go.

I wanted to draw all 3 of them but I only drew Leita in a boring subway trip.(actually her feet.I like drawing people feet in the subway.)

Her face.She makes this face when she listens to the people next to her(I think she doesn't know maybe).
Sometimes it looks sad,sometimes serious,sometimes happy.
Well..this drawing is not good for showing all of those.

I just got back from a short vacation but I miss it already.
And this post lost its destination 'cause of so many feelings I had from this trip.
hmm..yea..those feelings would help me to get by I hope.

閃光-spark

2008-08-13T23:03:00.006+09:00

閃光(空の小屋live)-UA

I was watching children's program at 7 in the morning.
In 2003,in a small hotel room in Japan.
When I started to wonder why I was watching children channel,She showed up.
She was wearing a flamboyant bird costume,very fierce facepainting.
And started to sing like a giant human bird.
It was really weird song.She didn't sing in human's word.She was just a bird.
I couldn't forget the scene,and months after I heard her voice again in Mondo Grosso's album.
That's how I found her.UA.
One of my rolemodels.A singer-songwriter,painter,actress,so on.

Here's my favorite UA song,閃光,from her first movie 水の女's OST.
She wrote this song also.

My Japanese isn't good.I hardly understand really basic things.
But in this song I understood these lines.
ねえ　今何時なの　ここは何処なの
貴方は誰なの　帰る家はあるの
優しい人達が　殺されているよ
So..What time is it?Where am I?
Who are you?Do you have home to return?
Warm people are being killed.
.
.
吠える空を見た　目を閉じたまま　突き抜ける景色を
これ以上　何を見ればいいの　だから私はもう戻らないよ
The sky were wailing,I saw that penetrating scenery with my eyes shut.
What more else do I need to see?So I'm not coming back.
(I tried to translate these,But my English is very limited & my Japanese is worse)

sketch on a yellow paper.I changed the girl in the right's pose,so I cut it and replaced.

This drawing came from my mind with those lines I understood,Ua's voice.
(And probably my mood too)

I was cheating on myself

2008-08-09T22:33:00.005+09:00

I thought that I was cheating on you but I was cheating on myself-with or without you.
(No.I haven't cheated on you.)
And I almost forgot that the scissor was on my hand.
This thin rope can be easily cut.
No more.No more drinking alone.No more your sad birthdays.
No more midnight emails,No more.
I will not give them meanings though I know that I'll still be waiting for you.

Drinking alone on the rooftop in a lovely cool summer night was good.
But as always I got drunk and started to do stupid things.
Only I can stop me ruining myself.I need to.
No more dreadful morning.

This is what happened last night.
I slept on a bench in front of my apartment building.
Mom found me few hours after,slapped me and yelled at me and and and..
I don't remember how I got home.
I saw my phone and there was very drunk ugly me saying tons of trashes.
This should be a turning point.
I used to sleep on the street when I was drunk,But I had friends who could take me safe places,who could sleep next to me at least.
And I was 20.Those days are gone.
No more.
A past is a past.and I don't live in a past.

(I've been drinking everynight since last week.I wasted too many hours to drink instead drawing.)

Running away

2008-07-31T16:58:00.017+09:00

Garbage live Glastonbury-why do you love me

-it's pyramid stage.the biggest one in glastonbury.

I was listening to this song while I was drawing these.
For a thousand times.no.a million times.

You're pink and I'm not.Why do you love me?

I'm sick of you

I told you that my heart belongs to someone else.
And the one is struggling in the middle of somewhere.
When I say no that means no.

no.

You're not.

I've seen a logo like this from a book I bought last month.
So this is probably under the influence of that logo.
(but that doesn't mean I don't like this)

My eye's inside is full of water so when it cries,it's fatal.
And it always cries.

Cry till you die.Cry till you become empty.

What do you pray for?Who do you pray to?
You only can be seen.not be heard.

Star in your eye-can you save the world with the star?what can you do with it?

Whatever I say,whatever I draw,whatever I do--
All is based from anger I can't control,is nothing but a shadow.

my day

2008-07-27T22:03:00.020+09:00

WELCOME TO THE ROOFTOP!

These are my sacrifices today.
Oh poor things,you'll be ended up on the wall.

you ready?ok.

you too,Mr.shadow?ok.

you too?an eye?watch out the wind!

good?ok

wait a minute.I know that you don't feel happy on the ground!

first try with sticker spray.

I wish I was good at these.I always end up with wrinkles.

2nd try with paste.careful,careful~

Maybe better than the spray.but still wrinkly.

3rd try with paste.this is one of my favirite of today!

Detail of an eye.

Cigarette break.

I found a good spot for my 4th try!

Spread the paste widely~

And put it on!

Tadah!!!!I love this!!

Detail of ugly lovely boy.

Mr.Shadow on the door.last piece of today.tested with spray.

hey,shadow!you look better outside!

Why was I making that silly face?

I'm glad that you aren't afraid of heights.
Look at you!you look so great!!

Sorry for people living this building,but I'm gonna use here for my practicing spot.
Don't get me wrong.I do live in this building,too.

I'll start to put them other walls when I draw more than 20pieces.

26th of July,2001

2008-07-27T21:14:00.004+09:00

Dogshit called me while I was working.
It was lunch time so I thought that he wanted me to come home for lunch.
My office was 15mins from home by walk.
I picked up the phone and said 'today is too hot so I'll order lunch here'.
Dogshit said 'daddy's strange!'
I said 'I don't fall for that.I said I won't go outside.'
And then he yelled.'You fucking idiot!I have no reason to make a joke with daddy!'
So I ran outside.It was the first and the last time I heard him swear at me.
When I almost got home I heard an ambulance noize so closely.
It was in front of my home.I stuttered 'why is that-'

I saw the world spinning.
I felt the sun burning.
I heard the road collapsing.
And my heart got a big hole.
Something whispered in my mind.'you've lost'

Few weeks later,in my area of seoul,there was a flood that took couple of people.
It was really rare 'cause we were living in the highest area of Seoul.
And another few weeks later,some airplanes crashed into big buildings in America.
The scene we could watch on the TV was more like a movie.
I watched them with my family and mom said,
'All of these are happening in this world without your dad.'

Yesterday mom asked me again.
'Are you still sad?'I answered maybe not anymore.
she went on 'do you still feel the hole in your heart?'
I said I feel it everyday.
She told me that's what they call sadness.

Can you see me moving?

2008-07-20T22:22:00.035+09:00

2weeks in London showed me a new vision.
I saw these great stencil arts near Waterloo station,
The city was in a battle with every street arts.
They erased every walls(especially walls around the big station,places which tourists usually visit-so there were weird too clean stains on the walls),CCTV is in everywhere but a site named blankexpression
provided this place and there were--

I regret that I didn't talk to him.His pieces were one of the greatest!!
(you can see more of his,and you can easily notice that they're his.)

so when I got back,I started to think that I should try more stencils.
And after a week I met Jerett(the guy I met in WorldDjFestival who's a graffiti artist)and he suggested me a great,great idea.
I draw on a paper,real big,lifesize characters,and give them a line or name or whatever,and then he write them(name/line/word~)
so last past week I was busy(?not really maybe?) doing these.

Skitsch/BATAK-pen is our weapon.
I tried a half scale before I draw lifesize.so..it's not very good and actually BATAK is taller than me.ahahahaha~~(I~am~somebody~who~wants~to~be~taller~)
the color is yellower than the real.my floor is too yellow&there wasn't enough light.
with-Acrylic color,Photo liner,OHP marker,two magic pens.

A main charactor from the novel I'm reading now.American Gods by Neil Gaiman.
I cut some part of the paper I drew me and BATAK and tried a B&W thing.
I love him.when people ask his name he always answers'they call me shadow'.
Well..in the story,He is like-(these are first 3lines from the book)
Shadow had done three years in prison.He was big enough,and looked don't-fuck-with-me enough that his biggest problem was killing time,So he kept himself in shape,and taught himself coin tricks,and thought a lot about how much he loved his wife.

hahahaha..My shadow is too cute and comical though.
in the middle of the book there's a girl wondering if he has indian blood,and the book says that he has grey eyes..and where I'm at in the book shadow started to work in funeral house..so I drew him in a black suit.
It doesn't look like don't-fuck-with-me guy or big,shaped but I like this.
with-OHP marker,photo liner,name pen,two magic pens.

some details of those two drawings.

If it wasn't raining I wanted to paste these on somewhere(probably the rooftop of my Apartment building~)but a storm was coming,it rained over 120mm?150mm?today and will rain 120mm more until the morning.

Anyways.Through these many pictures,can you see me moving?

bye,bye Mr.P,my friend!

2008-07-20T21:51:00.008+09:00

We met last year at my friend's wine party.
Though he doesn't drink(at all!),we had a good conversation,and gave eachother #s.
He's an young american guy who's been in Korea for almost 3years.(maybe wrong..anyways over 2years.)
He's really interested in Korean animations,he draws,he writes,he scraps informations.
And he's a really really really positive friend.
I think he doesn't know this but actually he helped me a lot.
Everytime I meet him,he encouraged me with his energy,ideas,passion,a lot more than I can write.
We wanted to make an website with..kind of webtoon,but it seemed too hard.
So I started to blog here.
and before that I didn't draw very much.I almost didn't draw.
I was just a tired nameless (but sometimes draws her own stuffs)animator.
Mr.P.you don't know how much I appreciate you.
and how much I will miss you!

his drawing of me in January.

We had farewell early dinner or late lunch today.
(He's going back home in one week,and probably won't visit Korea for a while.
He said he might come back or not so I should visit the states.hahaha)
He said that my drawings're getting better and better but I also think that his drawings are too!
So while he was drawing me I drew him drawing me.
And then I added him and his friend around his drawing of me.

Mr.P!we know that we'll meet again,right?
see you again Roberto!carrot!
I'll call you friday afternoon.before you couldn't use it anymore.

her name is meshell ndegeocello

2008-07-16T01:07:00.007+09:00

I first heard her voice in 2003 in basement jaxx's album kishkash.
She sang and played bass 2songs for the album and those were really good.
so I bought her albums and got shocked.
Her music is real.
She taught me a true meaning of beauty.
Why don't you click here and listen to her voice.
michelle johnson
(it's her real name and she sang about herself in her latest album.
ndegeocello means 'free like a bird' in swahili,which is also carved on my right arm.)

rough sketch with yellow,yellow green pencil.
um..I forgot my scanner doesn't read yellow green pencil well.
I shouldn't use that color next time I draw.

re-lined.
I like this a lot.yeah,Pencil is the most familiar tool for me.

Another drawing of meshell.
She always shaves her head but only for once,she had this cornrow.

re-lined.

Last night I met my ex-boss with my friend SunAe.
(We worked at his for 3.5years-for a long time ago.)
We talked about how time passed,how good/bad we were.
And then SunAe said that she doesn't like working with me.
She loves this job and is proud of it but I always say this job is stupid.
I was very shocked.But her word has its fine reason.So I said nothing.
And we went on,and we got drunk,and I made my ex-boss cry.(he's 40yrs old nice,funny guy)
What am I to have this giant ego?Why do I always offend people I love?

And then again I thought of meshell.
Does her life have shits like mine?Does she do wrong?
And the song answered me.
yes.
The only difference between(not only.the biggest) me and her is that she's real but I'm not yet.
That's why I feel ugly.that's why I'm not beautiful..yet.

coconut moment

2008-07-10T23:08:00.008+09:00

coconut moment pencil sketch

coconut moment inked

It was a very hot and dry afternoon of glastonbury.
I saw a boy and his mom bought coconut(fruit) to drink.
I asked my friend some coins and ran to the coconut guy.

He was busy opening coconuts by cutting their tops.
I hesitated a moment and asked him 'can I have one please.?'very shily.
He saw me and said'Sure my lady~' with a big grin.
Then he opened one with a few cuts,and handed me in a bigger grin.
So I smiled back and started to ask the price-'how much-'

He licked his lips before I finish the question and leaned towards me in slow motion.
So did I.
Our faces came closer and he whispered.'three pounds~'
Suddenly my face turned to real red and I paid and then ran away.

..
'cause he was so damn sexy-,.-
His brown,wet shiny shoulder(yea.read my first post.I almost have fetish),
his narrow eyes,rough teeth(I love Steve Buscemi),slightly muscly lean legs,long dred,so on..(am I crazy?probably.)
Some of my readers know that I want to be a fisherman.
That some of you might know that I have a childish fantasy of nature based life.
And for a moment,I thought that I could live forever with someone like him.
But I was too shy to say 'I like you!!!You're so fine!'while I was buying coconut.
..
and I looked dumb like this

happy monkey with coconut

one more small drawing from festival-

Festival child.their facepaintings were vivid and bold.
(in here,we don't draw all over the face..)
She looked sad and a bit mysterious.well..and very pretty also.

festival for babies(those four aren't family.they're-a baby&her dad,a baby &his mom)

ooh.I need to draw faster or I'll talk about the festival till the end of this month.

Hello,blog.I'm back~

2008-07-08T00:37:00.012+09:00

Yeah baby,I'm back with full of flavour!

Those last two weeks were amazing.
I went to Glastonbury Festivals(from 26th to 29th),and lots of places I loved.
My skitschbook and note were with me always but I couldn't draw as much as I thought.
There were too many moments I wanted to just feel,and sometimes it's hard to draw especially while I was at the festival.
But those are in my mind so I'll put them out one by one.

I came home yesterday,(stupid me.it wasn't 5th.it was 6th.I gained 7hours when I went to London,but I lost 14hours when I came to Seoul.give my hours back!!-but actually there's no loss)and started to work today.
yea..It's been a long day.I thought that I could rest one day before I work.

Here're some poor stuffs I drew at green park.
These aren't all but some of the others needed to be re-lined,needed extra touches.

I saw this kind of looks a lot.Those hat(?Can I call that a hat?)s,Sticks,skirts,and some..febrics which looked like shawls.
Very common old lady(I love them so much when they say'oh dear!')in England.

She was huge.
I was too shy to draw her as big as she was.
She seemed over 180cm,her shoulder and her legs were..
Maybe she was a sports player.

A boy who was very my style.
(mm..honestly,most of boys are my style.wahahaha!!)

At the park,I saw a look of love.
The guy on the right was really really concentrating on her.(while she didn't seem to care/noticed.)
His eyes were like laser beams!

Very cool girl with big Sunglasses.
Her face and hair were perfect but when she stood up,I can't say that I really liked her pants..

A girl or a lady reading a book in the park.
I liked her hair.

I'll be back soon with many more stories.
I just thought that I should say 'Hi.I'm back'quickly.

ps-I just changed blog setting a little bit for my friend EJing,who doesn't have google/blogger ID and has been wanting to post a comment.
since now,you don't need to log-in to write a comment for my posts.

tomorrow

2008-06-23T20:11:00.007+09:00

I'm going to London tomorrow.
I've only been to the UK and Tokyo.
After my dad passed away I started to dream of London.
Before my first long journey I chose Tokyo for visit.
My boyfriend at the moment was Japanese,was in Tokyo.
It was August of 2003,then 7months after I went to London.
I wanted to live there.But I just had travel visa,really hated to study English.
(If I was a student,there were possibilities to stay.)
So I started to teach Korean/Japanese kids piano to save money but the city is famous for its expensiveness.(means that I couldn't live there without real jobs)
I lived there for almost 6months,from the end of March to the middle of September.
During summer there're lots of music festivals there.
I really,really,really wanted to go to Glastonbusy Festival but the ticket price wasn't a thing I could afford.
They showed it live on air,and me and my friend Aeran holded eachother's hands and swore-We should come back and must be there.
5years passed.during then we went to Tokyo again and traveled our country but didn't forget the day we made up our mind.

This year,I'll be there.
Still very excited and nervous and worried and anticipated.

pencil sketch of me waiting for airport limousine

inked.
I'll be texting to friends.and will be looked exactly like that.
Oh.and actually I'm taking my cellphone with me.
Calling on the phone is too expensive but I can get/send text messages.
(which is 300won per sms)
Well..If you're dying to hear my voice,give me a call.
If you do and I get,you just pay domestic fee.
I pay the overseas fee.eh.That's how it works.
I want to be free from phones but also don't want to miss my friend in the foreign huge mud field.
I'm glad that the limousine stop isn't far from my house.

Yea.weather.It's the biggest concern.
Whether it's bad or not,I will have great time!!!

I still have this empty note for drawings of people I met in London.
It's blank and that means I met lots of people but I forgot the note for a long time.

And a drawing I did in London.
oh.well.someday I could talk about its full story.about a depressed youth.

So.
My friends,lovers,foes,everyone.
I'll be back on the 5th of July.
I'm bringing notes,sketchbook(named skitschbook) so wish me good luck with the weather,everything.And then I could come back with much more interesting ideas,drawings.

see you in July.
I'll be missing you!

Oh,(one of my)old lost sketchbook(s)!

2008-06-22T19:39:00.006+09:00

While I was packing,I accidentally found a sketchbook!
I used to write dates after I draw things so I noticed that its from 1999~2000!!
Those days,I was so young and was with Oi,Sundive,Minjoon,GwangJae,brother Wang,Jowoo..

I made few stories about people relationships,life.
And I drew them on this note.
(I was a very serious kid..what would younger me say if she see how I am now?I know the answer.'I've grown up as I hated!'-I'm too silly for me from the past)

This girl's name is 'Hye Yeon'혜연.
She's a middleschool girl,but looks much mature than the other girls.
In her school,bullying is very common but her character was too unique to be bullied or bully other girls.
It's a story about two isolated girls.(which are very different from eachother)
And how to communicate different ways.

I drew the moment when Sundive(friend of mine) met ****(I forgot his name).
I hadn't seen her face shine like that.
And I first thought that 'that's what people call love!'

Sometimes I think I could draw better than now.
I was able to draw like this!9years before!
And I could use other different tools!
Anyways I wrote these lines below this drawing.
'Among things I call 'mine',how many of them are mine?
aren't they just things I obtained(from others)?then,where are 'mine'?'
I was worrying about originality.And I still worry but I realized,
I'll live life like this-worry and wonder and try to find mine.
Then someday,I think I could get real realizations.

Hmm...younger me might not hate me.
She's still in me.

It was a crazy week.

2008-06-22T12:34:00.007+09:00

From Monday to Thursday my work schedule was crazy,I couldn't even check this blog.
And I had to work until 1~2am in the night.
Finally Friday came,but I was still busy doing this and that.
And I spent yesterday under the pressure..(pressure of packing)
I'm about to take a vacation,will leave to England on the 24th.
..I'll post about it tomorrow or tonight again.Anyways.
These are what I drew while I had to be a machine for Japanese animations.

A very stressful night.
Someone was on the phone,My mom was on the street and too much works were waiting for me.
And I felt like everything was pointing at me saying'only you!'

People watching in front of the office building.
I knew that I had to go back to work,but instead of that I spent 20mins to smoke and watch people.
I muttered heh~everybody is busy except for me~ to myself.
But I'm sure that I was as busy as those girls.Maybe more busy.

say 'try this!'

2008-06-16T23:56:00.005+09:00

for your baby brother who's just turned to 26years old today.
for your mom who has to fight for her faith.
for your friend who's so exhausted by things she has to do.
for your daddy who broke his back at the bathroom few days ago.
and for your prince/princess who doesn't feel good but there's nothing you can do.
say,try this!
It's 'wonder candy',from SSSS!!(*SSSS-StrangeSweetSillySkitsch)
It will make you forget about the worries!
But it only works while it's melting on your tongue.
Don't have it too much at one time then you might forget every emotions.
Oh,if you're interested,please contact to skitsch!

I don't worry about him.A flower already gave him wonder candy!

Last week,I had a chance to took a bus with mom.
And I found this icebreakers in my bag and gave it to her.

I don't like acid stuffs like lemon,orange juice so on.
But probably because of that,I always carry sour candies to wake me up(or to kill time).
Mom asked me what was it and I said It's wonder candy which would make you forget worries.
She didn't believe me but after she took one,she understood what I meant.
Its taste is extremely strong!!!!!!!
And while you have it in your mouth,you can't think of any other things.
I'm so into it~~

talking

2008-06-09T21:52:00.005+09:00

During weekends I met lots of people.
Some relatives which I haven't met after my dad's funeral,several friends at my friend's wedding,some new kinds of people,so on.
Meeting relatives and talking with them is like walking across over the stepping stones.
There're things I shouldn't step on.If I do,I would drown.
Things like..(moment)..whatever.
I'm old enough to know how life goes on whether we want or not,old enough to see how complicated emotions,stories they have.
Well..I just know and see.I don't say I understand.
They always make me puzzled.
Anyways.So I had time to think about 'talking'

It's a Korean singer's song 'in this rain'.
I'm not a big fan of her but a fan of Anis.(A japanese singer who featured this song.)
And I found I misheard a word.In the first line,it's not 'your talking voice'.it's 'your choking voice'but it sounded 'talking' to me.

He tries to tell her how he feels about her but she can't hear.
What a tragic,boy!
Couple of years ago I read a comic about two aliens.
They hid their true identity and met and fell in love and worried 'cause they thought that their gf/bf was human.
One day the boy saw her huge tail while she was taking a shower.
She cried saying'I'm an alien.could you still love me?'
And the boy smiled and showed his real face to her.(with pointy ears and whiskers)
Some of us don't speak the same language and think that bothers us,but
even we speak the same language,some of us just can't listen.

Do you wanna know?

2008-06-04T00:37:00.005+09:00

Do you wanna know
why she cried twice today?
Do you wanna know
why she screamed against the wind?
Do you wanna know
why she spat the words which made her mom cry?
Do you wanna know
why she felt so unreal?
Do you wanna know
what she's looking for in her life?
Do you wanna know
why she talked to the sky,'this is because of you'
Do you wanna know
why she had to drink everynight?
Do you wanna know
how she sees the world

Actually,you don't need to know.
'Cause there's nothing more to say.

ps-I was reading this again and realized.
I was really drunk.I drank over my limit.
(And I couldn't remember what I wrote until 5 in the afternoon.)
Making decision is always hard,but I think now or never.
I hope that mine was right at least just for now.

3 different styles

2008-06-01T23:38:00.019+09:00

First,
I met a hair color changing guy today.
He said his hair color is different in summer and winter.
I haven't seen it before so I think I have to meet him in winter.
It was our 2nd meeting,we planed to draw together when we meet.
Yea.he's the one I met at World Dj Festival.oh.It's been a month!

Hair color changing guy is drawing on my sketchbook.

He was drawing this.
Sometimes machines are so stupid,the way my scanner reads picture is using lights.
And he used a silver marker to paint it.
So this is what happened.
Anyways,I haven't met any graffiti writers and haven't thought that they could draw on the paper.
(How stupid I am.huh!)
He's amazing.I can't express any better.

Hair color changing guy's note.
I didn't notice it first but I found that he wrote the line'beautiful loser'.
And I know I'm one of them..sometimes not as beautiful as others,but I am a loser.
Here are stuffs from his note.

ooh..I can't remember what he said about this..did he say he hates this?
I don't know..uh..uh..

He sent this image the other day by phonemail,said'simple style'.
Simple!!?!?!Probably his definition of 'simple' is very different from me.
I like this a lot..Sounds childish but I love the stars!ahahahaha(running and fade out)

His another drawing.I'm still not sure he said he likes this or not.
(But I'm posting it 'cause I like it.)

The last time I drew with others was..hmm...when I was in highschool.
I became much shier,more stubborn,much much more nervous.
I was worried that he might not like mine or I might ruin his sketch.
But luckily,his charactor came out pretty good and he liked it.
(Of course I like this a lot!He really looks like this!..well..to me)
Can't wait to see he finishes the lettering!
I'll post again after he put some color in it with other things we did together.
And I found myself trying to make new patterns with color pens.
I'm addicted to so many things..

Me today in his note.I feel relieved when I'm in the gray world.
(But I don't seem so..as always)

and 2nd,I met DJ Logic(you can see his name on the left.linked 'my mentor').
He's like my real brother,33years old,I call him my favorite 33years old.
If he gets older,then He'll be my favorite 34,35,36years old.
We've been best friends for 12years.(Ah~~12years!makes me feel I'm so old!)
He's a comic artist,now is writing movie scenario,story for japanese cartoon.
And also he's going to draw webtoons in near future.
(I'll post it again when he starts.)
We haven't met for 2months,cause he was in Japan.
Anyways,It was really great to meet him today.

He makes a rainbow with his obsession.

And he gave me a quick sketch of his new web cartoon's main character.
He used to draw the series for a korean magazine but wasn't very popular also.
But he became a legend.He was like..at least 2 steps ahead.
It's rare to export Korean comics to Europe/USA,but this..did.
well..still not very major style though.
(If he was,I couldn't be his friend this long time)

He drove me back home by his obsession(which made me shed tears)
I don't know when I'm gonna see him,but it's always great to hang out with him.
yea.I call him my mentor!
He's one of the most important people in my life.
one of the biggest influence.(mentally)

And I'm still very excited 'cause of my new cell phone accessories!

Closer look.I made those straps with beads,got that cute purple monster from a cloth shop!!Thanx Jay!

shopping

2008-06-01T09:38:00.005+09:00

A!pencil sketch

inked.

Images of girls and boys are overflowing from online shopping sites.
Most of them are..exaggerated,unreal,some are even total mess.
But people like me(lazy),if they show the size correctly,online shopping is a big temptation.
I don't think I saw them(above) in the shopping pages but
After my online window shopping,those clothes left in my head.
And the guy on the right reminds me of someone I knew.
Few years ago,I met the guy at Levi's near my house.We kinda had the same taste.
I liked the way we met-on the street,two strangers with same taste!
And he was really funny.
Hmm..I haven't talked to him for years and I don't remember the reason.
Anyways.

and It pains my head

2008-05-28T01:06:00.005+09:00

I was smoking outside thinking of your email.
Some of your words made me cry,some made me smile,wonder,sigh,nod,so on..
Chemical brothers&magic numbers were singing 'close your eyes'
So I drew eyes.

I sang the song along and my friend came to the bench and said that boss fired him saturday.
She told him that she could give him 10 more days.
..He's been working here since she(boss) started her business.for almost 8years.
He's in my age,has 9years old son,divorced.
and the most important thing is-he's done nothing wrong.
My boss just needed another accessory.
He sighed with cigarettes,frowned his eyes and said
'good bye.thank you for being my friend.'
We went on some silly things we could have done together and walked to the building silently.

We will meet again I said just before he opened the office door,
But he just smiled and said nothing.

Everybody is leaving.
I wish I was young and innocent enough to say 'don't go.'

caged bird

2008-05-27T23:30:00.003+09:00

Some birds don't deserve to be caged-pencil sketch.

Caged bird-color pencils&brush pen.

Some birds don't deserve to be caged
They gotta fly away and search for the waves
Bein locked up is worse than the grave
I live by the words on the page - I know!
Some birds don't deserve to be caged
They gotta fly away and search for the waves
Bein held down is worse than the grave
I live by the words on the page - I say!
-Acealone&RJD2:caged bird

I don't deserve to be caged.
But the things around me are burning.
The fire can't eat me up.But it took everything else.
It's in anywhere.in the news,your friend's messages,in your mom's eyes,on the streets,EVERYWHERE.

Everybody's living and dying and excusing in its own way.
This is how I apologize,how I excuse.

complicated

2008-05-23T01:25:00.010+09:00

rough sketch.

colored.-with various pens.

One day Me'shell(my #1 hero) said,
'Freedom is not given or taken.It is realized.
Even though I adore her and try to trust it,but
Sometimes I feel like I'm buying freedom.especially from family.
I got a loan 57million won from a bank today.(yeah~surprise~!!)
If I can be free,that would be nothing.
But how could I ever?

..life sucks and is really complicated but I still draw and dream.
I will,I should.

overjoyed skitsch with color pens.
(bought 3 of them yesterday)

my fellows.They can jump out of the water and hold their body on the rock with their fins!!!!
Amazing lovely creatures!!

hey,cutie!

yea.I live like this.

The four men who came out of Ahgutang

2008-05-20T19:48:00.010+09:00

pencil drawing.

inked.

This is about a song again,same as before you can hear/download it by clicking below.
Ahgutang

BaikHyunJin is one of my favorite Korean indie artist.
He's in a band 'Uhuhboo project'which released 3 albums.
They're famous for BaikHyunJin('Maboo' at the moment)'s uncomfortable voice,his unusual lyrics.
Oh but his lyric is sometimes incredible,creepy,realistic than real,so poetic.
You'll see why if you read this song's lyric.
It's on his first solo album,released last month.
I'm gonna type an English lyric he added in the booklet.

The four man who came out of Ahgutang

Victory Korea!
The young man in back-pack is from Montreal.
He worked at the Chinese restaurant for three months.
21years old,Anderson,his name.
Saved money to travel.

His first destination,Seoul,Korea.

Mr.Ahn Sung Chul,after his night shift.
is at the DulDul- pub in Insadong.
He is looking at the instant sticker photos after ordering a pint and some Nogari.
three monthes ago,the lover in the picture married Miss Park Kyung.
He still can not forget him.
On a Saturday night,in Jongro.

Anderson,while sightseeing around Insa-dong,
Bought two Korean Fans for his parents.
Looking at the flock of cranes on the fan,he remembered Ikeda's long neck,who left him.

Having met at Toronto's George Bell Arena,happily continued their relationship for two years.
But one day,
Ikeda confessed love to his hockey partner Hiroshi and left Anderson.

Hiroshi was Anderson's first kiss.

Mr.Ahn Sung Chul was in front of Tap-gol park to catch a taxi.
Anderson was looking at his Lonely Planet in front of Tap-gol park as well.

On that moment,
Four men came out of 'The original Masan Ahgutang'restaurant.
They were member of South Korea's amateur soccer team.
They sang under the Nakwon market.
'Oh victory Korea,Oh victory Korea'

Looking at the map,Anderson approached Mr.Ahn.
While asking directions they started to talk.
At the first sight,they were attracted to each other.

Talking holding hands,carefully they kissed.

Right then,those amateur soccer team witnessed the scene.
On a Saturday night in Jongno.

Youn DongHyung a realtor,the goalkeeper,screamed furiously
'Look at those perverts!'
the four man,approached them and started to swing punches while cursing.

Ahn Sung Chul,fortunately,only got a slap on the face.
He is on the ground grabbed by the neck.
But Anderson,got a struck of a merciless 'potent-shoot'
His jawbone crushed and became a mess in blood and saliva.

On that moment,Chan Ho Park(A Korean MLB player)got a time of reflection with tears.
While Park Kyung is in Kyung-Ju having a three day love affair with her college senior.

In BaikHyunJin's interview he had,he wrote this song after he read a newspaper talking about a foreign guy was attacked by Korean men 'cause he was kissing a boy in the street.
The news pissed him off and he focused on realism in this song.
Actually I drew four men with those kissers but I wasn't very happy with them..
So I cropped them out.
Here they are.

different surrounding&everyday journey

2008-05-15T22:32:00.018+09:00

My office moved few weeks ago.
The old office was near Sillim(the place I was born and lived over 20years),
And I had worked there for three and half years.
Of course I liked the place.
The building was old,dirty,loud but there was some kind of peculiar atmosphere.
And I loved the old lady of the grocery store in the first floor.
She always talked to me about TV shows she watching.

The new place now we are is..bigger,so clean,too silent.
And this sick building is nonsmoking building.
We can only smoke outside of the building or on the roof.
Here are convenience store,big restaurant,other offices..which are just new and boring.

I come to the office around 11~12o'clock,and smoke 2~3cigerettes outside then start to work.

quick sketch of an unhappy smoker

smoke a lot at one time

Cleaning people are always busy to keep this giant boring building clean.

And these are from my everyday journey from work to home(I walk home)
(It used to take one and half hour but now its much shorter than before.)

My old desk.

desk again.Oh!!I miss those cute magnets!!

The old 'SoonDaeGook'diner.My old office building had stories.

Old lady's old small store.Oh I miss it already.

We used to have drinks there.

An empty old narrow road.Those orange lights aren't easy to find in wider/newer drive ways.

People were fighting for a better residence.

On the bridge-before you cross it,you're in Seoul.But after you crossed it,You're in GyeonGi Do.
This scenary is the main reason I walk home.I fall in love everynight.

The moon.The lonely moon.
Those short apartments are jealous of the moon.
So they threaten the moon everynight.

This massive city can't get satisfaction.
It's always trying to stratch the sky.

..finally I'm home.

Pretty little colorful toes want me to wear flip-flop and to show them the sea.
But I think I'm too busy until next Thursday.
SAD!!!!

spice of life

2008-05-11T10:48:00.011+09:00

追憶のライラック(trumpet dub)-Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra
(lilac of memory)
click the letters and listen to the song!!!!!!now!!!please!
(just open and play!or you can download it from my web page-no need to worry about virus)

The original song was performed with a singer but this song is a dub version of it.
This makes me think of a garden full of sunlight and wind.
No matter where I am,what I do.
I first saw their concert last year(Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra),
Their first impression was very energetic,quite strong..almost like macho guys(they're all guys.about 10 performers.&they don't sing.they invite singers for their albums)
They played this dub version as ancores.mm...yea..quite sure.
I usually don't like dubs,but this is so beautiful.
I can remember the trumpet player's face,the old cute mute,everything.
Now my name is 'skitsch'but before it I used the name Dr.SKa for a long time.
Skitsch is a new word I made with 'ska'+'kitsch'.
(Oh.but it's been almost 5years since I made it)

Sometimes life is so tough.
Sometimes I feel like things like this is just a luxury.
I feel like I should do something else rather than dreaming and smile.
But these feelings are spices of life.
without them,we can't go on.

I love my life,I love songs,I love you!
Sounds silly but I really wanted to share this with everyone.
Do you feel the same?

From WDF&more

2008-05-05T22:51:00.026+09:00

Hey,my readers,frinds&foes!
I'm back from super busy crazy days.
The festival held on the 3rd and 4th.
The 1st day's weather was so nice.no cloud,no rain.
It was a very lovely early summer day.

This is my first stencil.
I haven't thought that I could done it but it was so fun!
You'll be seeing my stamps on the street very soon&often.

Second stencil.
I love the line.'waste the youth!'
Though I'm losing it.maybe already lost it.

We couldn't do things we prepared.
There were lots of conditions like-
Don't draw with tools which won't be erased naturally,Don't draw on the marquee,Don't draw on the sets.(But actually those were my dreamt canvas.)
So we decided to draw on a narrow road with chalks.
This is my first drawing.Smoke kills me not you.
(I hate that warning!Smoke kills!I know.and we all are dying.)

And this fun-loving smoker loved it!
Probably he was the most popular subject for the moment.

Mr.P invaded my drawing.Mr.P is my friend and doesn't want to show who he is.

Do your thing!!How you dare!!

Skitsch is scribbling on the street!
She's writing something about drinking this time!

EJing and Mr.P collaborated.

Ejing&Mr.P collaborated again.
It was really fun to see them drawing together.
You'll see why with another photos!

Actually Mr.P was my one day assistant.
He carried my HEAVY bag silently So I was very happy with it.

Ejing is my youngest friend.A design school senior student.
These mountains are her latest design she said.
She's really cute&cheeky.And most of her stuffs are cute and bright.

Since I wanted to draw on the street,I wanted to see this.
People stepping on mine and then my drawing can be a part of the street.

This isn't my favorite.I didn't even colored it.But the message was..
Isn't it so me?!
She's reaching her hand towards him but saying 'no'.while he's just standing saying 'yes'.

Shy trio.the top:Mr.P,left:Skitsch,right:EJing.
Yea,It's almost dark and we had FUN!!

Mr.P left us earlier.While we were waiting for the next DJ stage,I drew on the sketchbook.

I was drawing this.
When I'm alone,I can't stop thinking about 'you'.
But also I'm having so much fun without having you by my side.
I sighed and smiled once again.

And I drew EJing.And she loved them.

Ejing's DJing drawing on the wall.
What she wrote in Korean is 'DJing'.

And my drawing on the wall.
Have a little faith in me~
Come on baby!have a little faith in me~~

And I met this guy from Canada.
He's a Graffiti writer&hockey player.
I was resting my leg in our marquee and suddenly he came in and started to write this.
First I thought 'eh.another drunken foreigner~'then I thought 'Oh.this guy knows what he's doing!'
I hope that I could see more of his art.
You know that I'm really interested in street arts.
Eh?You didn't know?ok.I'll show you later!

And the next day's weather sucked.cold,rainy,so on.
We didn't bring anything else just chalks and crayons.

But this time they gave us this panel to draw.
Everything wasn't right but we tried.
But suddenly rain came harder so we coulnd't help coming inside of cozy marquee.

Cheers!
Anyways,We had fun,EJing.right?
Though Mr.P couldnt make it Sunday.

DETAILS FOR WORLD DJ FESTIVAL

2008-04-29T21:13:00.004+09:00

(click and check the bigger size)

Do you remember the festival I said I participate?
on this Saturday,Sunday,at nanji area(worldcup stadium station,line6.exit1)
DJs and Musicians start to play around 7~8pm.
I'll be there from 1pm till the late night.maybe over the night.
at least,I'll watch the cornelius group's performance at the first day which starts at 8:30 and houserulez right after the cornelius group.
I want to stay until 2~3am so I could see DJ kawasaki,But I have to stay awake friday night(-the night before the festival-another DJ party I just go and enjoy)So I don't know.
The thing I can promise is I will be there from early afternoon to late night on both Saturday and Sunday.
You can come anytime from 1pm to 10pm.I'll be there for sure.at least Saturday.
And If you want to see those artists' stage then you have to buy tickets.20000won each for one night to the next morning.
But If you just come to see me and want to have drinks,feel free to come.
Outside of the stage area is just free.And there're also crazy things going on.
I'm really bad with taking phone calls these days,but I promise.
I'll grab the cellphone in my hand tightly in case of your calls around the place.

See you there,especially you Soon,Amber,Tristan!
(They already promised to come!maybe they're my only visiters!)

Waiting

2008-04-29T20:24:00.007+09:00

At Han's Deli(take-out snack bar)

I bought a small croquisbook and a cool sharp pencil.
And Started to spend waiting times for drawing.
I usually draw when I'm alone but I wanted to remember what I'm feeling on the street.
I used to hate people watching me drawing.I'm quite shy I think.
So I decided to pretend that I'm alone,listening music.Though I was in a place anybody can see what I'm doing.

Sunday I went out for dinner with my brother DogShit(from now,'DS').
The place was crowded,we had to wait about 25mins.So I drew these while 6 or more foreigners watching me.
DS is always interested in my drawings and askes me few questions about them.

DS:Is he sleeping?
SK:No.Something stings his heart.He feels it and tries to focus on.
DS:What stings his heart?
SK:I don't know.He doesn't even seem to know.

DS:What's wrong with this face?
SK:It's sad macho cresent moon.
DS:Why sad?
SK:Because he's old and all alone.

SK:It's me.
DS:What's this on your T-shirt?You're not wearing this!
SK:It's a giant eye.It scares birds.
DS:I didn't know that my sister was a scarecrow.

길이 아닌곳은 가지 마 Don't go outside of the way
남들이 간 곳만 가 Just follow what others have been
부탁이고 명령이고 소원이야 It's an asking an order and a wish
After reading these lines DS asked just one question.
Why does she want us to follow the way?
I told him,because that's what she's for.She's a human roadsign.
But actually It was something I want to tell myself.

Someone told me yesterday that I'm too selfish.
That's what I always heard from someone I care.
And from the moment,I can't find anything to say.
It hurts more and more.There's nothing I can do.
I'm emotionally retarded I feel.

loneliest star

2008-04-26T01:36:00.000+09:00

One of my favorite grey pen drew this.
I didn't realize but I was writing the letter 'missing' on the ground.

Same pen.
The flower can't move.Her invisible root ties her up on the ground.
But her bee is born to fly.He wore Dikies,smiled silently without showing his teeth.And flew away.
He said that he'll be back but the flower couldn't help crying and saying what if he changes his mind.
But nobody knows.Time flies and if he's her bee,they'll smile together again.
That's what I want.
I wanna see the flower's smile in May.

Last Sunday I went to Taeyeon's place where she draws and teaches people.
While she was explaining her new student how to draw a petal I drew this on a toilet paper with her blue pen.

Don't you know that I'm free and I'm young
I'm the loneliest star from the sun
But I feel that I'm close to the one
Who will stop me from coming undone

..yeah..It's a lyric..The song 'loneliest star'of Seal.
But I feel that I'm close to the one who will stop me from coming undone.
I sing a serenade to the one I couldn't get reply.

Are you busy?

2008-04-21T00:05:00.003+09:00

いそがしい[忙しい]means 'busy' in Japanese.are you busy?
If you aren't and you're in Seoul in first weekend of May,

You should be there.
I'll be there with my friend EunJeong(Ejing)&Midodok.
And we're planning to scribble on the street or on the ground,on the stage,anywhere.
You don't really need to buy tickets to see/meet us/other artists!
Just come to Nanji Area(Near by Worldcup stadium station-line No.6)And enjoy our drawings!Of course there'll be other fun/interesting things going on around the area.

so..Yes?Would you be there?
I'll take pictures and post some of them after the Festival.

ps-I came home last night,Doctor said My leg seems OK so far.

Alien in your street

2008-04-17T21:12:00.006+09:00

Rough sketch with yellow green color pencil.

Re-traced.

I stumble because a black car stepped on my left foot last night.
I wear short sleeve T-shirt because it's hot today.
I have tattoos on my arms because there're things I want to keep with.
I bandage my left eye because I got hurt and put at least 5 stitches on it.
I shed tears because my heart is broken.
I cross the street because my office was there.
I smoke on the street because I'm a chain smoker.

I know that the scene I made today isn't very common.
But,you didn't have to step aside from me.
I have a job,I didn't do anything bad,I have my family.
People,I'm just one of you.Don't look at me as a dumped alien in your peaceful street.
Enough staring,Enough frowning,Enough heartbreak.
So,please,no more.I got enough.

But actually,putting stitches was fun.I've never had it before.
And my eye looks much worse now.much,much,much swelled out.

I'm seeing

2008-04-14T23:53:00.007+09:00

I made few rules for this sketch blog when I was making it.
First,post at least 2times a week.
Second,don't write too much,don't put too personal feelings on it.

But both of them are pretty hard for someone like me;;
These days I'm seeing how ugly I could be.
No matter how hard I try,I can't runaway from the truth how much ugly I am.
Suddenly I feel happiness,Suddenly I feel like a clown.
I'm holding burning fire on my chest while I'm running on the ice.
My eyes are saying please but the sound I make is no.

All these weird emotions made me draw these.

If you want to get an answer,you should open the door.
No one would open it for you.

I'll be back soon with brighter stuffs.
I'm sorry if I disturbed you readers.

faces

2008-04-09T00:57:00.001+09:00

" />
-This is a pretty big image.
I used to sell these hand mirrors at *hope market.
(*hope market is an artist market which takes place near famous art school in Seoul.)
Well.I failed to sell them,but the job left me these sketches of faces.
I was having hard time to draw something new.But these helped me out of a slump.

Yeah~isn't she cute!her freckled face shows her personality well.

Yeah.I remember.He was shown on TV,weird Korean reality TV show.
Well.He was more like a boy than this actually.I thought that he's cute but clearly he isn't Korean girl's type.(his hair,lip pierce,so on)

When I was younger,the most important condition of my ideal type was baseball caps&short hair.
So I practiced to draw baseball caps a lot.
K and his crazy dog cap.

Don't you think this face is pretty familiar?
Well.It's a quiz.You've seen this before.I'm sure.Anyone knows the answer?
And I love this face as well.

My intended face for H was someone seems relaxed,easy,free.
Do you agree with me?

I thought this face looks like me..But now I think I was wrong.
I might draw this 'F'again.I really like the eyes.

I wanted to draw a sexy female.well..I think I failed.
hmm..I'm not sure but I tried to draw an actress of Neyo's music video.(not sure.not sure.)

images of an unknown guy

2008-04-05T01:06:00.007+09:00

yeah..this reminds me of him.

I haven't met him,I even don't know his name.
But his image lasts in my memory.
I think I was just web surfing at the moment.
And I found a guy's(He's Canadian as I remember)web site.
He's a kind of avant-garde artist,usually take pictures of distorted body.
Some of them were interesting,Some looked painful.
And himself was the main model.
I completely forgot who he was,when it was,what the web address was,
but after a while I found myself drawing him.(no.his image)

I think that his a great artist.
I can't remember anything about him,but his pieces inspired me.And probably other people,too.
I know my drawings are sometimes just cute,sometimes just too weak.
But hopefully,I want to be an image to unknown readers.Even only just for one reader.

--personal reasons--
I'm starting a new project tomorrow,If you're in Seoul,You better look forward to upcoming news!
I'll be busier than ever,I think.But I'll try to post more and more stuffs.ASAP!

when I take your hand with delights

2008-04-01T01:00:00.003+09:00

pencil sketch

inked.

Terrible thing happened.
I need a help.
I can't upload/link images no more from the site I used.
anyway.I just wanted to do this.
What do you feel from this image?

I see the light

2008-03-26T23:04:00.011+09:00

(click the image to see it bigger)

Do you know Neil Gaiman?
Neil Richard Gaiman is an English author of science fiction and fantasy short stories and novels, graphic novels, comics, and films. His notable works include The Sandman comic series, Stardust and American Gods.-wikipedia

I saw his name from a magazine when I was in highschool.I just saw an image from The Sandman,A dark hair girl saying "hey!you are bleeding"
Until then,I hadn't seen any foreign comics except for Japanese manga.
From that moment,I really wanted to get a copy of the series,But it was almost impossible to a Korean girl.(And it was 12years ago,means there wasn't internet.)
But after few years I could see his name again on some graphic novels with Dave Mckean(one of the greatest illustrator of our time!)'s fantastic illustrations!
..Oh.I lost my mind again.When I'm saying as a fan,I always lost in words.
anyway.
I watched Stardust last thursday.(?not sure-,.-)
And one of my favorite Neil Gaiman's book is Never where.
Those two stories have couple of things in common.
There're girl&boy.And the girls show the way to go to.
Boys had certain goals at the start of the story,but girls changed their lives.

And I drew a girl & a boy again,He's seeing the light at the end of her finger.
The place she points at.
oh!This weather makes me can't stop thinking of girls and boys!!

I love being myself

2008-03-23T12:42:00.007+09:00

(click to see the original size)
I love being myself-pencil drawing

(click to see the original size)
I love being myself-inked.

What do you think about beauty?
What's your definition of beauty?
Most girls in Korea would say big eyes with sharp double-eyelids,sharp nose,red lips,small and rounded chin are common conditions of beauty.
And also they admire thiner,longer body with curves.
The girl in the left,is taller,thiner,has bigger eyes but she doesn't like wearing girly stuffs.And she's happy with it.
The other girl in the right,is smaller,has traditional asian eyes and she's happy with herself.
I didn't draw me with them but I'm shorter than the Korean average,slightly heavier than the average,have narrow eyes,dirty skin,don't like skirts&high heels.
But I love being myself.I take care of myself and sometimes,I feel like I'm more beautiful than people called average beauty.
I won't get plastic surgeries,but will always try to love myself.

everybody,say PICNIC!!!

2008-03-18T20:24:00.005+09:00

The weather here is so nice these days.
Everything whispers to me,'pi-c-ni-c'!
People usually say the spring is a season of girls.
Streets are full of colors from their light clothes!
Isnt it lovely?
Everybody,picnic!summer of love is coming!

rough sketch
Today's me,very satisfied with the weather-no need to wear coat!!
So I pretended to go on a picnic while i was heading to the office.

colored

What are you waiting for!just go!feel the breeze!!

skitsch rage-遺憾

2008-03-17T00:34:00.006+09:00

(click to see bigger image)

As Bob Marley said,so much troubles in the world.

We should be angry about
Dying kids because of adults' fault.
People which even don't have chance to live like others.
Politicians saying no corruption is impossible in politics.
Men think they're superior to women.
Women always lean on Men.
My people,Korean,their blind following of western culture.

I'm proud of me.
But I'm confused why things around me are so irritating.
Maybe that shows I'm not right or confident.

I know this light can't be lasting for ever.

2008-03-12T00:45:00.015+09:00

(click 'play',please!)
Can you hear?Can you hear a song?
I was listening to this song.
별-푸른전구빛
byul(literally it means 'the star)-blue light bulb
and There's a line goes like-
'This blue light between us.I know it can't be lasting forever.
but I keep on saying I love you I love you for ever.'

It's a dry,lonely,empty love song.
very poetic,too.
In life,we meet many people.And We're in love with moments.Not with people.
That's what I felt from the song..
People say love too easily.Even in situations their hearts don't say so.

So I chose to draw girl&boy.Purer,younger and naiver.

(click the image to see it bigger)
Pencil sketch.
I was in love with this sketch,actually-,.-
The boy's hand,eyes,The girl's gesture and the song.

(click the image to see it bigger)
For the first time,I want to color this.
They need a blue light.
If I success,I'll post it again.
If I fail,I'll hide it perfectly.yeahie!I'm a genius!!

ps-I don't know why but I can't stop seeing this post again and again.
Is it because of the song?or Am I really in love with those two young sweethearts?

Last night or This morning

2008-03-08T14:39:00.005+09:00

Doing same job for 8 years seems enough time to be ready for everything,but It's not true.There're still lots of variables!
I had to work all night but until 8pm,I didn't know(actually my team didn't know) that I had to work until the morning.

"I know what you're doing!"

SO.I need to go back to draw my own sketch(I can't stop thinking about it)!
You can see it tomorrow..hopefully.

back in the day again-the poem 'when I was the most beautiful'

2008-03-05T22:53:00.015+09:00

My English isn't perfect.I can merely express meanings.
But I found this photocopy today and really want to share it here..
I know at least 1 English teacher is seeing this page.
If there're any unnatural/wrong lines,please correct me.

내가 가장 예뻤을 때-이바라기 노리코
When I was the most beautiful-Ibaragi Noriko

내가 가장 예뻤을 때 When I was the most beautiful
거리는 콰르릉 하고 무너지고 Streets collapsed with a thud
생각도 않던 곳에서 Something like a blue sky
파란 하늘 같은 것이 보이곤 했다 Appeared in unexpected places

내가 가장 예뻤을 때 When I was the most beautiful
주위의 사람들이 많이 죽었다 Lots of people around me died
공장에서 바다에서 이름도 없는 섬에서 In the factory,in the sea,on unnamed islands
나는 멋부릴 실마리를 잃어버리고 말았다 I lost the clue of adorning myself

내가 가장 예뻤을 때 When I was the most beautiful
아무도 다정한 선물을 바쳐주지 않았다 Nobody devoted me heartfelt gifts
남자들은 거수경례밖에 몰랐고 Guys only knew military salutes
깨끗한 눈짓만을 남기고 모두 떠나가버렸다 And all went off with clean eye-signs

내가 가장 예뻤을 때 When I was the most beautiful
나의 머리는 텅 비고 My head was so empty
나의 마음은 무디었고 My mind was so dull
손발만이 밤색으로 빛났다 Only chestnut-colored hands and feet shined

내가 가장 예뻤을 때 When I was the most beautiful
나의 나라는 전쟁에서 졌다 My country was defeated in war
그런 엉터리같은 일이 있느냐고 That's such a fake I said
블라우스의 팔을 걷어올리고 and wandered about servile streets
비굴한 거리를 쏘다녔다 with my blouse sleeves rolled up

내가 가장 예뻤을 때 When I was the most beautiful
라디오에서는 재즈가 넘쳤다 Jazz songs overflowed from the radio
담배연기를 처음 마셨을 때처럼 어질어질하면서I felt dizzy like my first cigarette
나는 이국의 달콤한 음악을 마구 즐겼다 And enjoyed the sweet songs of alien lands

내가 가장 예뻤을 때 When I was the most beautiful
나는 아주 불행했고 I was so unhappy
나는 아주 얼빠졌었고 I was so blank
나는 무척 쓸쓸했다 I was so lonely

때문에 결심했다 될수록이면 오래살기로 So I decided to live as long as possible
나이 들어서 굉장히 아름다운 그림을 그린 Like the French painter Georges Rouault
불란서의 루오 할아버지같이 그렇게 who drew extremly beautiful pieces in his old age

I need to draw this poem again

..right now.