Dancing on the rooftop.

It was one of those rainy summer night.
They were sitting outside of a small diner near his house.
She thought he's getting drunk.
So she said she needs to go home.
Then he kneeled down and reached out his hand to her and said,
'Please,please be my Punk rock princess!'
He wasn't drunk at all.
She said she's not punk anymore and she can never be a princess.



A week after, they were dancing on his rooftop.
She had never danced like that before.
Her cellphone was singing this song and she wished that he could understand her message.
He said he's in love with her but she said nothing back.

.
.
It's been 3 years and I still think of that night.
When the night air smells like ......I smile and feel so lucky to had a chance to be somebody's last 'punk rock princess'.


섬(island)-nell

the eternal triangle of..

sketch

inked

(I drew this last week but couldn't find time to write&upload..so I was thinking not to post this but anyway I feel like this all the time these days.)

When I was lost in London years ago,I found this poet somewhere on the internet.
She's a friend of my favorite Korean poet who's in my dad's age,and one of her poem attracted me so much.
It's really short.It goes like-
이것이 아닌 저것이 갖고 싶다 want to have that not this.
여기가 아닌 다른 곳으로 가고 싶다 want to go to somewhere else not here.
괴로움 외로움 그리움 suffering,loneliness,yearning
내 청춘의 영원한 트라이앵글 the eternal triangle of my youth

I don't know where I am in my life.
I thought I was lost when I was thinking of this poet everyday.
Feelings has been dimmed since I got back from the foreign countries.
And it made me sad so I just drink another glass of alcohol and get lost.

Loveletter

Colored

Sketch

"I want to walk with you,I want to talk with you,I want to laugh with you,
I want to sing with you,I want to see with you,I want to eat with you,
I want to be with you."

So..I was telling about my past relationships to a friend of mine while we were having dinner today.
I told her how crazy I was.
I've approached to a bus driver I used to see everyday on my way home,a guy who worked at a pc cafe near my house,a part-timer at a levi's shop,even to a girl who had a boyfriend(yes..she's the only girlfriend I've had.)

I was sure that I know how to show my affection.
And I thought hiding emotions is such a tragidy since we don't know when we can meet someone who makes our hearts beat.
So my life was kind of easy that way.
If I like someone,I just tell the person how I feel.
If the one doesn't feel the same way I do?then I try again.Try my best to show my emotion.Still rejects?then I reflect myself and say again-till something inside of me says 'you did everything you can.'

There's someone who's too cool.But when I think of the one,I'm like boiling water.
Yea I know that person wants to be just friends but I can't be that cool..yet.
I didn't try to control myself because I thought we would never meet again but now I see it might happen.And when I see myself looking forward to it,I'm disappointed.
I don't want to bother the person by calling late at night,I don't want to see me waiting for the person all day long.I've been there before and it didn't feel good.

But still,I like the person.So I'm doing this.
I'm going to block the person in some way.I don't want to completely block the person,so I'm going to block one of the easiest way.
I'll talk to the person when I'm okay.when I could be cool.
But if the person talks to me while I try to block the person,nothing can stop me.
I'll tell the person 'I like you so much' with a smile like a sun.
Maybe those two will never happen.I won't be able to see the person and the person will never get to me.but at least I will smile with this memory and this drawing.
(Well,in this drawing I just covered myself in a bubble.hahaha.)

if we can watch

watch

sketch

While I was watching TV dramas I thought that if we can watch eachother's acts when we are not together,then we can understand eachothers much better.
If we can watch a scene like-somebody(who likes you secretly) tries to help you without showing who he/she is-this,it'll be easier to fall in love or make a really good friend.

I saw a scene a boy moves a big potted plant to make a shade for a girl(who he loves) sleeping under the sun.
I saw a friend's lovely face when she's talking about her date.

If only we can watch,this world would be different..

will we ever?

Will we ever?

Sketch.

I don't exactly remember when I started to hesitate to name some people 'friend'.
'Cause I'm kind of picky.I don't think I need to love everybody and be loved by them.
So,every relationship I have with my friends is really important to me.
Even though I don't say how much I think of them.

I have met great people in past last 2years.
Most of them are not in Korea anymore but I still think of them and wish them well.
Today I wondered to myself..
Will I ever get invited to a small wine party at friend's place?
Will I ever go to Busan with Leita,John and Keith?
Will I ever get a phone call from drunken John when I was so alone depressed and sad?
Will I ever watch Purple rain with Keith at 2am?
Will I ever heard them call my name in their own accent?(my Korean name)
Probably no.
But maybe someday.

Thank you.You made my days so colorful.We will meet someday somehow somewhere again.

一喜一悲-one joy one sorrow

一喜一悲 inked

sketch

There's a word I always tell to myself.
一喜一悲.
This means having a mixed feeling of joy and sorrow.
And also means think it again before you laugh or cry.
One night,mom came home late and started to cry silently under the blanket.(I sleep next to her.)
The next morning I sent her a message.'mom,一喜一悲.let's not cry until we find out what really it is.'

But we couldn't stop crying before we sleep.
Even though we don't know if it's sad or not.
Trying to hide our tears.

이세상에서 가장 소중한 노래 하늘은 알아
-Heaven knows the most precious song in the world.

다시 살아나(blossom)-황보령Hwang Bo Ryong.


HwangBoRyong

sketch

When I first heard her song more than 10 years ago,I didn't like them.
Her songs were hard to understand.
I knew that she was singing about things that are dumped,broken,imperfect,wounded..
But I couldn't understnad why she's singing that way.
Last month she released a new album.She hasn't sung a while.(5 or 6years?)
And this time,I was able to understand.feel.
I needed 10 years to truly listen to her voice.

can't hide it anymore

09

Ejing+SunAe

DH



sketches

Some friends are in love or just started to dream somebody.
They don't say anything,but I can see that in their faces.
You can't hide it,my dear!
Like this song I'm listening.숨길 수 없어요(by Roller Coaster)-I can't hide it anymore

Looking through the window

colored.

2nd sketch

rough sketch

Here's a guy fitting in his mom's arms.
He's 32years old and an epileptic.He only has a 3years old child's inteligence.
He was a normal child when he was born.But he had a fever over a week and his family was too poor and isolated to ask for help.
His mom thought that having a sick child is her fault.
While her son's body starts to shake and stiffen,she prays.She wishes that she had this illness.not her child.She doesn't know what to do.

I was watching TV on a bus.
And I watched this story.
When I could feel my eyes started to twitch,I turned it off.

---------this is like,
There was something outside of a dirty window you're sitting next to.
You wipe it and were able to see that but they were passing by.
While you were seeing them you felt guilty and sad
but after a moment,you forget and your bus goes on.


What can I do for them?What makes a difference if I knew their story?
Why does it still sting me?

because she's in love

relined by pencil,colored.


in love sketch

It's below zero,It's early in the morning.And it just starts snowing.
She's wearing short pants.Her thighs were exposed.
She's waiting for a bus.Then her cell phone rings.She looks at it and can't help stop smiling.

Only because she's in love.
She can't feel cold,Everything around her is so pretty and warm.
And she doesn't know that only people in love can smile like that.


Yesterday I was on a bus and saw an young girl.
It's freezing cold outside but she dressed like it's a spring day.
I thought 'oh.maybe she doesn't have warm coat'but at the moment I saw her face,I realized.
She's young and in love.
She's wearing what her boy likes.and that's all this girl cares about.
I turned 30 this year.If I was younger,I probably wasn't able to see that she's in love.
But now I can.and I know that I can't smile like that again too.
I can never make that pure,pretty lovely face.

Letter D

..While I was watching TV,seeing people who want to get plastic surgery,want to be richer,want to be famous,want to be with someone.

Praying in the name of letter D.






Some might say it's a dream.Yes it can be.
But I.desire.I desire somewhere to rest,a morning waking up in somebody's arms(Somebody I've never met,somebody I could never meet.)
So I wander this cold nights and humming YiSungYol's songs like I'm floating on these pretty sad small city lights.

She dreams/desires too.


기다림-이승열.waiting-Yi Sung Yol.
Thank you.You saved me.You're saving me..

hope you know

Ssam partly colored

2nd sketch

Rough sketch

You know I used to cry everytime we met.
I could cry in front of you 'cause you were always warm,reliable.
You tried to see the world in my eyes when I talked to you.

You were brushing teeth.You were talking about your mom and dad.And then you started to...
..You know,It was me who always cried.

While you turned your head away and tried to hide that weak shaking,I wanted to give you a hug as you always did to me but I couldn't.
I wanted to tell you 'lay your burden down.'or 'my poor dearest.you're doing your best.'
Instead,all I could do was hesitating behind your back.
And hoped that you know.

Let's not cry anymore,my dearest friend.We're doing well.very well.

Sickboy meets Sickgirl

Sickboy meets Sickgirl

sketch

It suddenly gets colder today.
I was thinking of drawing something else(a super cute kid I met yesterday) but I failed and then a cold wind reminded me of these sick couple.
I used to sell my own stuffs on my homepage D-gecko.
I sold stickers(9 different designs) and Sickboy and Sickgirl were one of them.
At the start of 21th century,I happened to get a party flier promoted by sickboy production.
I wasn't interested what they're doing but I really liked their name.sickboy.
After a few years I designed stickers and gave this character a name sickboy~
(And his girl,sickgirl)


They were sick and lonely but after they meet,they aren't sick and lonely anymore.
Those two represent 'waiting'and 'meeting'.
And they both came from winter,(that's why I thought of them today)and they are waiting for the spring together.

Sickboy&Sickgirl from 2003 are more rough and energetic while those 2 of 2008 look more warm and comic.

ps-Actually I drew one more sickboy and sickgirl on my jumper,but I can't find it now.If I find it-I'll add a picture of it.

Asking to the moon

Moon watching re-lined.

Moon watching sketch.


I was watching you and wondered.
Am I doing good now?Why can't I live like you?
What's in this dirty ugly mind?Can't you see it?
Are you proud of me or do I shame you?
Are all these people living like this?
Why am I not interested in good guys?

Then I couldn't stop crying.
Sometimes everything hurts me and I'm too sensitive.

The moon shines.

Friends or foes

Friends or foes inked.

Sketch.

Some of them you call friends block your eyes,ears and limit your move.
You don't know what they're doing to you.
They might don't mean harm.But some of them are poisoning you.
You feel safe.You feel good.But the truth is-You've been hypnotized.
That's where most of the people are at.

I had a friend.Her name is Sundive.She was a very good friend of mine.
We shared lots of dreams.We had have lots of joys and tears.
And one day she left me with this message.
'Sorry,but you make me lie.'
It broke my heart so badly.I was so confused.I didn't do anything wrong I thought.
But after 7years,now I know what she meant.

And I see that kind of situations these days.
And I also think being hypnotized might not be that bad if they don't think/know where they are.
So they can smile and reach out their hands.
-And confuse me.

Where have they gone?

In my 2nd year of highschool(18years old),I met Kwon in the class.
I still remember the first time I saw her drawings.
She was kind of famous for her unique personality and her drawings.
She wasn't studying art,hadn't studied.But her sense and her own style fascinated me.
I still can tell she's the best I've ever met.

From our awkward first meeting,(imagine..18years old me walked to her seat at the first day of a new term and said'I want to see your sketchbook!')
we became very close in an instant.
She has been my best friend,first drawing teacher,bright star of my highschool days.
And then she introduced me a friend of hers,Shin.
That was the start of our history.

We made some characters to represent us,called 'Oohlala'.
mm...I made them up..they looked like this.

(from the left-me,Kwon,Shin)
We used to call ourselves 'Mighty Oohlalas'but the other friends did call us 'stupid trio'.
Some of the other classmates even asked us if we were sisters.
We did almost everything together.
We ate,drew,skipped classes,dreamed,went to comic festivals together.
And 12years passed.(?11years?I'm so bad with numbers)
Now Kwon works for a big company's Management Planning division,
Shin has her own web business,
I'm still drawing at an animation company.

But we still talk and laugh and thank for eachother and dream.
This time,it's not the same dream,but I'm so thankful for having them in my life.
(And I don't doubt they do feel the same)

left-Shin.right-Kwon.Yesterday was Kwon's birthday.


Shin's quick drawing.She just started to sell stuffs online.
She's getting married in December to her cute Japanese boyfriend.Congratulations girl!


Kwon's Oohlala trio.I love this so I watched it over and over.
I have to press her to draw more..Not for me.For her.I know how much happy she is when she draws.And how great it is.

3 of us.


I got warmth I needed,and I'm convinced that I'm doing fine.
Thank you,you two,the home of my soul.

more lonely eyes

Few days ago Dogshit turned on the TV while I was trying to sleep.
(I sleep in front of TV)
He wanted to watch a silly game show and it was 2am so I woke up unpleasantly and said,
'Hey,you.you..your sister is lonely!'
He bursted into laugh and started to make fun of me.

..
Yes,I'm lonely.not because I'm single,not because some of my really good friends are too busy to hang out.
I'm just lonely.Like everyone else on this planet.

So I speak love and draw lonely eyes.