Bye,2008.

It's been a dramatic year.
I promised to dad I'd be real this year and now I look back,I was crazy,dumb,in love,innocent,naive,foolish,drunk,immature-these sound pretty real.ha!
And there was you.
I'm going to lower my head and try to take a rest with people I'm really used to.
I don't think I will post another entry till the end of the year.
I'm almost too emotional,I'm a trouble,Sometimes it's hard to just sit and breath..
I'll be back for sure.I'm just exhausted.Got no energy to see and express this world.
So.while I'm not around,I hope you to enjoy my songs.
Again,It's from my own webpage I pay for,don't worry about viruses.
(But it might take long..it's a quite big file)

Here it is.
SKITSCH2008

Again,happy new year,merry Xmas!
Thank you.

Island

There are stories that are true, in which each individual's tale is unique and tragic, and the worst of the tragedy is that we have heard it before, and we cannot allow ourselves to feel it too deeply. We build a shell around it like an oyster dealing with a painful particle of grit, coating it with smooth pearl layers in order to cope. This is how we walk and talk and function, day in, day out, immune to others' pain and loss. If it were to touch us it would cripple us or make saints of us; but, for the most part, it does not touch us. We cannot allow it to.

No man, proclaimed Donne, is an Island, and he was wrong. If we were not islands, we would be lost, drowned in each other's tragedies. We are insulated (a word that means, literally, remember, made into an island) from the tragedy of others, by our island nature, and by the repetitive shape and form of the stories. We know the shape, and the shape does not change. There was a human being who was born, lived, and then, by some means or other, died. There. You may fill in the details from your own experience. As unoriginal as any other tale, as unique as any other life. Lives are snowflakes - unique in detail, forming patterns we have seen before, but as like one another as peas in a pod (and have you ever looked at peas in a pod? I mean, really looked at them? There's not a chance you'd mistake one for another, after a minute's close inspection.)
-Neil Gaiman, American gods,page 345 to 346.





After I heard another short news about another suicide.
And saw myself saying 'people born,people die.'
..Yea I'm an Island.and I feel uncomfortable about it.
Something is wrong.Terribly wrong.
But I have no clue how to fix it. And I also know how powerless,meaningless I am.
..
Something's wrong.Give me a reason or give me something to blame.

Letter D

..While I was watching TV,seeing people who want to get plastic surgery,want to be richer,want to be famous,want to be with someone.

Praying in the name of letter D.






Some might say it's a dream.Yes it can be.
But I.desire.I desire somewhere to rest,a morning waking up in somebody's arms(Somebody I've never met,somebody I could never meet.)
So I wander this cold nights and humming YiSungYol's songs like I'm floating on these pretty sad small city lights.

She dreams/desires too.


기다림-이승열.waiting-Yi Sung Yol.
Thank you.You saved me.You're saving me..