love is here-starsailor

Raw image.I didn't even delete those spots my scanner usually makes.didn't resize also.

If you could see the lover in me,And we could join our hands together
If you could see how good it could be,We'll sing these stupid songs forever

Can you feel it? love is here,It has never been so clear
You can't love what you have not,So hold on to what you've got

Is Judy really smiling for me?I'd change my name in case she found me
Trembling I can't believe,I've got to leave the girl behind me

Can you feel it? love is here,It has never been so clear
You can't love what you have not,So hold on to what you've got

Can you feel it? love is here,It has never been so clear
You can't love what you have not,So hold on to what you've got

If you could see the aching in me,I'd change my name in case you lost me
Trembling down to my knees,I've got to leave the world behind me

Can you feel it? love is here,It has never been so clear
You can't love what you have not,So hold on to what you've got



The last stage of my healing is open up the wounds and show it to the world widely.
And then wait till the whole world sees,then I could be alright.
Yes I've shed tears a lot but maybe not enough.
Yes I thought that I displayed it all but maybe there are some more to open.
What comes next?I don't know.Why does it still hurt?I don't know.
What was it?I don't know.Was I loved?I don't know.

This weather,your name,internet,pictures,haruki's novel,starsailor's song,my body condition..all of these
are fatal.

This is my final fit.final movement.

somebody told me

My image of a house,people,trees.

I was walking down the street last saturday night.
Somebody talked to me so I removed my earphone and said 'yes?'
He said that he's a psychology student and was researching the relations between one's mind and a drawing within house,people,tree.
I thought that he's drunk because there was something strange in his eyes but I said yes and started to draw.

After I finished my drawing he asked me if I wanted to hear his explanation.
His eyes stared me oddly again so I accepted it.
He said-
'I think that you're upset and there's a huge problem with your status right now.
Look at this.It's a monster.(I said-no!it's just a big human and the house is too small for him)Then look at this house.It looks more like an office or something.Do you feel locked up?And the monster/human.you have such a big ego it shows.mm.And this tree is strange.You didn't add branches or fruits.Branches show how complicated your family stories are.And fruits mean how greedy you are.You look pretty greedy.
(I said-my hand got cold and I was bothered to draw them.)Hmm..I'm not an expert but this is..(Me-this is what!?)..interesting.'
And then he gave me thanks and we went to seperate ways.

..was I that easily readable?or I signed him which type I am while he was staring me?

Sickboy meets Sickgirl

Sickboy meets Sickgirl

sketch

It suddenly gets colder today.
I was thinking of drawing something else(a super cute kid I met yesterday) but I failed and then a cold wind reminded me of these sick couple.
I used to sell my own stuffs on my homepage D-gecko.
I sold stickers(9 different designs) and Sickboy and Sickgirl were one of them.
At the start of 21th century,I happened to get a party flier promoted by sickboy production.
I wasn't interested what they're doing but I really liked their name.sickboy.
After a few years I designed stickers and gave this character a name sickboy~
(And his girl,sickgirl)


They were sick and lonely but after they meet,they aren't sick and lonely anymore.
Those two represent 'waiting'and 'meeting'.
And they both came from winter,(that's why I thought of them today)and they are waiting for the spring together.

Sickboy&Sickgirl from 2003 are more rough and energetic while those 2 of 2008 look more warm and comic.

ps-Actually I drew one more sickboy and sickgirl on my jumper,but I can't find it now.If I find it-I'll add a picture of it.

No.she's not

'No.she's not' inked.

sketch

She's not punk.
She's not an artist.
She's not an office worker.
She's not a feminist.

But,she-is punkish than punk,is artistic than artists,works harder than office workers,does believe everybody's rights should be equal.
And always attracted to minor stuffs.

Maybe she's just another kind of loser you haven't seen.
So don't coat me with your prejudices,your expectations.
I'm skitsch.I go my way.

my happy end

W&Whale:우리의 해피엔드(our happy end)



Happy end.colored pencils.

sketch

Finally I was able to say 'don't text me again' to the one who's been making me cry.
And also was able to say 'I had a huge crush on you' to somebody's boyfriend.
And also was able to say 'I need more time' to the one who says I'm beautiful.

So now I know I won't drink alone again,won't be waiting for midnight messages,won't be waiting for the mext meeting,won't say yes while my heart says I don't know.

Thanks for making me a little bit better.

This Autumn has lots of ups and downs..

Asking to the moon

Moon watching re-lined.

Moon watching sketch.


I was watching you and wondered.
Am I doing good now?Why can't I live like you?
What's in this dirty ugly mind?Can't you see it?
Are you proud of me or do I shame you?
Are all these people living like this?
Why am I not interested in good guys?

Then I couldn't stop crying.
Sometimes everything hurts me and I'm too sensitive.

The moon shines.

Friends or foes

Friends or foes inked.

Sketch.

Some of them you call friends block your eyes,ears and limit your move.
You don't know what they're doing to you.
They might don't mean harm.But some of them are poisoning you.
You feel safe.You feel good.But the truth is-You've been hypnotized.
That's where most of the people are at.

I had a friend.Her name is Sundive.She was a very good friend of mine.
We shared lots of dreams.We had have lots of joys and tears.
And one day she left me with this message.
'Sorry,but you make me lie.'
It broke my heart so badly.I was so confused.I didn't do anything wrong I thought.
But after 7years,now I know what she meant.

And I see that kind of situations these days.
And I also think being hypnotized might not be that bad if they don't think/know where they are.
So they can smile and reach out their hands.
-And confuse me.

Where have they gone?

In my 2nd year of highschool(18years old),I met Kwon in the class.
I still remember the first time I saw her drawings.
She was kind of famous for her unique personality and her drawings.
She wasn't studying art,hadn't studied.But her sense and her own style fascinated me.
I still can tell she's the best I've ever met.

From our awkward first meeting,(imagine..18years old me walked to her seat at the first day of a new term and said'I want to see your sketchbook!')
we became very close in an instant.
She has been my best friend,first drawing teacher,bright star of my highschool days.
And then she introduced me a friend of hers,Shin.
That was the start of our history.

We made some characters to represent us,called 'Oohlala'.
mm...I made them up..they looked like this.

(from the left-me,Kwon,Shin)
We used to call ourselves 'Mighty Oohlalas'but the other friends did call us 'stupid trio'.
Some of the other classmates even asked us if we were sisters.
We did almost everything together.
We ate,drew,skipped classes,dreamed,went to comic festivals together.
And 12years passed.(?11years?I'm so bad with numbers)
Now Kwon works for a big company's Management Planning division,
Shin has her own web business,
I'm still drawing at an animation company.

But we still talk and laugh and thank for eachother and dream.
This time,it's not the same dream,but I'm so thankful for having them in my life.
(And I don't doubt they do feel the same)

left-Shin.right-Kwon.Yesterday was Kwon's birthday.


Shin's quick drawing.She just started to sell stuffs online.
She's getting married in December to her cute Japanese boyfriend.Congratulations girl!


Kwon's Oohlala trio.I love this so I watched it over and over.
I have to press her to draw more..Not for me.For her.I know how much happy she is when she draws.And how great it is.

3 of us.


I got warmth I needed,and I'm convinced that I'm doing fine.
Thank you,you two,the home of my soul.