the eternal triangle of..

sketch

inked

(I drew this last week but couldn't find time to write&upload..so I was thinking not to post this but anyway I feel like this all the time these days.)

When I was lost in London years ago,I found this poet somewhere on the internet.
She's a friend of my favorite Korean poet who's in my dad's age,and one of her poem attracted me so much.
It's really short.It goes like-
이것이 아닌 저것이 갖고 싶다 want to have that not this.
여기가 아닌 다른 곳으로 가고 싶다 want to go to somewhere else not here.
괴로움 외로움 그리움 suffering,loneliness,yearning
내 청춘의 영원한 트라이앵글 the eternal triangle of my youth

I don't know where I am in my life.
I thought I was lost when I was thinking of this poet everyday.
Feelings has been dimmed since I got back from the foreign countries.
And it made me sad so I just drink another glass of alcohol and get lost.

Loveletter

Colored

Sketch

"I want to walk with you,I want to talk with you,I want to laugh with you,
I want to sing with you,I want to see with you,I want to eat with you,
I want to be with you."

So..I was telling about my past relationships to a friend of mine while we were having dinner today.
I told her how crazy I was.
I've approached to a bus driver I used to see everyday on my way home,a guy who worked at a pc cafe near my house,a part-timer at a levi's shop,even to a girl who had a boyfriend(yes..she's the only girlfriend I've had.)

I was sure that I know how to show my affection.
And I thought hiding emotions is such a tragidy since we don't know when we can meet someone who makes our hearts beat.
So my life was kind of easy that way.
If I like someone,I just tell the person how I feel.
If the one doesn't feel the same way I do?then I try again.Try my best to show my emotion.Still rejects?then I reflect myself and say again-till something inside of me says 'you did everything you can.'

There's someone who's too cool.But when I think of the one,I'm like boiling water.
Yea I know that person wants to be just friends but I can't be that cool..yet.
I didn't try to control myself because I thought we would never meet again but now I see it might happen.And when I see myself looking forward to it,I'm disappointed.
I don't want to bother the person by calling late at night,I don't want to see me waiting for the person all day long.I've been there before and it didn't feel good.

But still,I like the person.So I'm doing this.
I'm going to block the person in some way.I don't want to completely block the person,so I'm going to block one of the easiest way.
I'll talk to the person when I'm okay.when I could be cool.
But if the person talks to me while I try to block the person,nothing can stop me.
I'll tell the person 'I like you so much' with a smile like a sun.
Maybe those two will never happen.I won't be able to see the person and the person will never get to me.but at least I will smile with this memory and this drawing.
(Well,in this drawing I just covered myself in a bubble.hahaha.)

electrik boogie

I got 99 stories to tell but I can't stop singing this song.
And it perfectly describes my status right now.
Well..the song is much more sophisticated but still so,so,so kitsch!
My summer has begun.Finally I got someone to fancy,(no.it's all about me.he doesn't even know how I feel)the rainy season is over,and the sea,the river,the lakes are waiting for me to come!!!


Electrik boogie-Ursula1000