Happy new year

Sorry for about..uh...few months gap,I was into another blog of mine and pretty busy as well..
But
I'm still here to say happy new year to everyone who reads this blog(well..if there's anyone left).
And promise to myself that I'll keep posting drawings and writings more often!!

Hope you have a great holidays.
See you next year.(maybe sooner.?haha)

the eternal triangle of..

sketch

inked

(I drew this last week but couldn't find time to write&upload..so I was thinking not to post this but anyway I feel like this all the time these days.)

When I was lost in London years ago,I found this poet somewhere on the internet.
She's a friend of my favorite Korean poet who's in my dad's age,and one of her poem attracted me so much.
It's really short.It goes like-
이것이 아닌 저것이 갖고 싶다 want to have that not this.
여기가 아닌 다른 곳으로 가고 싶다 want to go to somewhere else not here.
괴로움 외로움 그리움 suffering,loneliness,yearning
내 청춘의 영원한 트라이앵글 the eternal triangle of my youth

I don't know where I am in my life.
I thought I was lost when I was thinking of this poet everyday.
Feelings has been dimmed since I got back from the foreign countries.
And it made me sad so I just drink another glass of alcohol and get lost.

Loveletter

Colored

Sketch

"I want to walk with you,I want to talk with you,I want to laugh with you,
I want to sing with you,I want to see with you,I want to eat with you,
I want to be with you."

So..I was telling about my past relationships to a friend of mine while we were having dinner today.
I told her how crazy I was.
I've approached to a bus driver I used to see everyday on my way home,a guy who worked at a pc cafe near my house,a part-timer at a levi's shop,even to a girl who had a boyfriend(yes..she's the only girlfriend I've had.)

I was sure that I know how to show my affection.
And I thought hiding emotions is such a tragidy since we don't know when we can meet someone who makes our hearts beat.
So my life was kind of easy that way.
If I like someone,I just tell the person how I feel.
If the one doesn't feel the same way I do?then I try again.Try my best to show my emotion.Still rejects?then I reflect myself and say again-till something inside of me says 'you did everything you can.'

There's someone who's too cool.But when I think of the one,I'm like boiling water.
Yea I know that person wants to be just friends but I can't be that cool..yet.
I didn't try to control myself because I thought we would never meet again but now I see it might happen.And when I see myself looking forward to it,I'm disappointed.
I don't want to bother the person by calling late at night,I don't want to see me waiting for the person all day long.I've been there before and it didn't feel good.

But still,I like the person.So I'm doing this.
I'm going to block the person in some way.I don't want to completely block the person,so I'm going to block one of the easiest way.
I'll talk to the person when I'm okay.when I could be cool.
But if the person talks to me while I try to block the person,nothing can stop me.
I'll tell the person 'I like you so much' with a smile like a sun.
Maybe those two will never happen.I won't be able to see the person and the person will never get to me.but at least I will smile with this memory and this drawing.
(Well,in this drawing I just covered myself in a bubble.hahaha.)

electrik boogie

I got 99 stories to tell but I can't stop singing this song.
And it perfectly describes my status right now.
Well..the song is much more sophisticated but still so,so,so kitsch!
My summer has begun.Finally I got someone to fancy,(no.it's all about me.he doesn't even know how I feel)the rainy season is over,and the sea,the river,the lakes are waiting for me to come!!!


Electrik boogie-Ursula1000

if we can watch

watch

sketch

While I was watching TV dramas I thought that if we can watch eachother's acts when we are not together,then we can understand eachothers much better.
If we can watch a scene like-somebody(who likes you secretly) tries to help you without showing who he/she is-this,it'll be easier to fall in love or make a really good friend.

I saw a scene a boy moves a big potted plant to make a shade for a girl(who he loves) sleeping under the sun.
I saw a friend's lovely face when she's talking about her date.

If only we can watch,this world would be different..

American standard

sketch


A while ago I saw a big ad in somewhere of big shopping area of Seoul.(like,DongDaeMun or somewhere.I don't remember exactly.)
First I laughed at it and thought it can't be big here because it was American standard's advertising.
If they're selling kitchen stuffs I could understand easily but they're selling bathroom products.
Anyway I thought that idea is ridiculous(Koreans use American standard's toilet/bathtub)but last week I saw a lot of agencies on my way to somewhere passing DongDaeMun.
Oh yeah it seemed like it's pretty popular here.
Why do we need to use American standard when we have our own standards?
Those are for Americans.They make things for their standard!
I've not been to America but when I think of England,their toilets were bigger than ours.

First people got plastic surgeries to make them look more like caucasians,then they started to wear American Apparel like crazy,(T-shirts and pants?I understand but even underwears?listen to me.most of Korean's body shapes are different from westerners.)and now they're shitting on American standard's toliet.

Nice.very nice you pretty dumb air-headed poor people..

Like a star

Like a star

Corinne Bailey Rae-Like a star

I think I've heard of this song years ago but I wasn't very interested.
When I saw her on the TV,I thought 'well,she can sing&write but sounds too sweet for me.'
BUT.
Few months ago I happened to watch a Korean TV show and heard this song again.(below)

Then I thought,'oh..this isn't just sweet..there's something more.'
BUT.
Since then this song started to follow me.
Weeks ago I was in a bar with friends and they played this song.
2days after I was in a different place with another friend and I heard this song again.
It's not a new song,released in 2005 but I hear it everywhere.
So I surrendered.
Yes,I'm in love.

I found that the singer Corinne Bailey Rae lost her husband a year ago and she's not been doing anything after that..I hope she would know that her songs are like a star for some people..
Ok..This will be one of my lifetime favorite music.

late night radio

It's been a good life.

나의 하류를 지나-Lucid Fall

Like..13~14years ago,I liked to fall asleep while I was listening to the radio.
Late night radio shows..I first heard Leonard Cohen,K.D.Lang,Duran duran,pet shop boys,Massive attack,Everything but the girl..(And so much more) from them.

I used to sleep after 2AM,usually did draw with a pen called G-pen.
Those days were full of dreams and happinesses.

I was working really late last night.It was almost 2Am and I heard this song from the radio.
Then I realized.I've been having a good life.
A life that maked me dream over a decade,a life led me to whetever I call happiness.

will we ever?

Will we ever?

Sketch.

I don't exactly remember when I started to hesitate to name some people 'friend'.
'Cause I'm kind of picky.I don't think I need to love everybody and be loved by them.
So,every relationship I have with my friends is really important to me.
Even though I don't say how much I think of them.

I have met great people in past last 2years.
Most of them are not in Korea anymore but I still think of them and wish them well.
Today I wondered to myself..
Will I ever get invited to a small wine party at friend's place?
Will I ever go to Busan with Leita,John and Keith?
Will I ever get a phone call from drunken John when I was so alone depressed and sad?
Will I ever watch Purple rain with Keith at 2am?
Will I ever heard them call my name in their own accent?(my Korean name)
Probably no.
But maybe someday.

Thank you.You made my days so colorful.We will meet someday somehow somewhere again.

How to have a great sunday afternoon

When it's sunny outside and you want to do something but also want to be on your own,
I'll tell you how to have a great sunday afternoon.




Make a canvas with gesso.(on any walls,plates,glasses any flat surfaces.In my case,I went to the rooftop!)


And paint it!draw it!write it!Do whatever you want to!(This cool fish named 'SkaFish' is singing Bob Marley song)

You can take a picture with it,too.



Paint colors first,


And then add outlines if needed.

Ta~da~~!!now you had an amazing afternoon.These took almost 5hours!yeahie!

*about drawings-Related post 1ISLAND
post 2Don't go to

Don't go to Korea

Don't go to (south)Korea.
The country is still in warfare.
The north tests their weapons.
While the south has no right to have a long-range missile.
There're more suicides than traffic accidents.
People lost job,family and now lost freedom to speech.
Government lies or makes up ridiculous lies.

And someone killed himself last week.
The only politician I wanted to believe.
The only president made me hope,made me proud of being Korean.

Never come to Korea.It's a disgusting absurd place to live.

I don't fully agree with thess articles but quite true they are.
from BBC news
New York times

一喜一悲-one joy one sorrow

一喜一悲 inked

sketch

There's a word I always tell to myself.
一喜一悲.
This means having a mixed feeling of joy and sorrow.
And also means think it again before you laugh or cry.
One night,mom came home late and started to cry silently under the blanket.(I sleep next to her.)
The next morning I sent her a message.'mom,一喜一悲.let's not cry until we find out what really it is.'

But we couldn't stop crying before we sleep.
Even though we don't know if it's sad or not.
Trying to hide our tears.

이세상에서 가장 소중한 노래 하늘은 알아
-Heaven knows the most precious song in the world.

다시 살아나(blossom)-황보령Hwang Bo Ryong.


HwangBoRyong

sketch

When I first heard her song more than 10 years ago,I didn't like them.
Her songs were hard to understand.
I knew that she was singing about things that are dumped,broken,imperfect,wounded..
But I couldn't understnad why she's singing that way.
Last month she released a new album.She hasn't sung a while.(5 or 6years?)
And this time,I was able to understand.feel.
I needed 10 years to truly listen to her voice.

born collector

born collector

sketch

There's a Japanese comic book called 'GLAMOROUS'.
It's a story about cyborgs which want to be real humen.
When the main charactor visits his friend(another cyborg),his friend was putting newspapers and pictures on the wall.
He asked what he's doing then he said.
'I'm collecting things I'm interested.Things I like,things I dislike-which identify myself.'

Then I realized that people are born collector.
Whether we show or not we have taste..not exactly taste,things we like or don't like.
Something that can distinct me from the others.


Last week I moved into a new office room.
And I spent more than 2hours for doing these.
Yea I was born collector and I like to show so I needed to do these before I work.






Not completed but can you smell me?

I'm walking,questioning,listening--

(I've been/I will be) walking,questioning,listening--

Sketch

Rough sketch in Orange colored pencil.

I had a tutor when I was in highschool.
He tried to teach me to get a better grade at math but I liked to talk to him since he was the most interesting person I had met.(And a really good listener too.)
I asked him why only human can't live naturally.Why we harm this beautiful world,why we were born,why we talk,why we think,why we can't listen to the plants.
And I asked him why do I always question.Why do I wonder about things that some people don't even notice its existence.And if my questions can't make any differences,why do I question.
Most of times he said'alright,but first let's~~'but one day he said-
'Don't think your questions are useless.They might be answerless but they will take you to a different world.You might suffer because of them but never regret.You're already better than the others who doesn't wonder.So keep wondering.Questioning,asking and listen.Always remember this.'


There're me.
Highschool girl skitsch who wonders about anything,everything.
22year old skitsch who lost a lover,family,friend.
24~26year old skitsch who wandered foreign countries.
30year old skitsch who is still walking,questioning,listening.



ps-
I just lost a job in Japan which I've been preparing almost 2 months.Well..I already started to work for them on and off.
But Saturday they canceled on me suddenly and said they don't need another team.(which was for me)
I couldn't sleep that night but I remembered this story my tutor told me.
..Right.I can't go wrong as long as I walk,ask,listen.That job wasn't meant to be mine.This isn't the time.
I thought that I'd be very frustrated and upset if I lose the job but ummm..how can I describe..I feel fine.

April.colors.people and me

love is a song_DJ soulscape

love is a song-DJ soulscape

Oh..It's been a while since I wrote the last post.(uh..a month?hehe)
A lot of things happened.Nothing really big but so many things were distracting me.
But time was passing while I thought that I got nothing to write.
Yes.A good friend of mine left this month.
Yes.I was terribly busy this month.
Yes.I was so tired of being waiting.
Yes.I got a crazy cold which lingered over 3weeks.

And most of all I tried my best to enjoy this lovely season.


Saw this back on my way to work.
Yea spring came to his ankle bone.

Another day at a subway exit.Uhh.This guy was so much cuter than this~

Ladies in a train.

Somebody texting

somebody dozing

And my hair starts growing crazy.

see?

Soon it'll be like this.


-And some colors I'm in love with.-

Morning green leaves with Adobe.

New shoes.

Red,blue nails and a Rainbow ring.

Night green leaves with city lights.